


Touching Jane

by HighlandRose



Category: Original Work
Genre: Engagement, F/M, Fake Relationship, Family Secrets, Gossip, Heartbreak, Love Confessions, Love Triangle, Making Love, Mistress, Second Chances, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Slow Build, Slow Romance, Touch Phobia, Unrequited Love, high society - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 19:07:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21553654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HighlandRose/pseuds/HighlandRose
Summary: Love is complicated, and nothing can change that; not two years, not a new job, not a fiancé. When the loose ends of Jane-Anne’s life threaten to unravel the fragile life she’s built for herself, how will she manage to keep it together?
Kudos: 2





	1. Ice Cold

**Author's Note:**

> This is a project I’ve been working on for a while and is based on a dream I had about some unfinished business I had.

_I’m not cold_ , Jane-Anne reassured herself, but then again, that was a hard point to prove when she wasn’t paying attention to a single detail of the wedding being planned around her: Her own wedding.

“For a spring wedding, lilies are the way to go Veronica.” From the look on her face, her future mother-in-law was not going to relent; that was a shame as her mother wore the same look of stubborn determination.

“Lilies have been done Rosemary,” Veronica countered, “but I think tulips would be absolutely darling.” The two of them were so involved in their battle that they seemed to forget about Jane-Anne. She sat back and watched out the window as the finishing touches were being made to the garden for the party.

“How many times do I need to tell you Veronica: If Chelsea is going to be in the bridal party, we _cannot_ use tulips or baby’s breath.”

“Then what on earth are you going to use as filler in the bouquets?” It was like watching two lionesses fighting over a gazelle. Both women whirled around and leveled their gazes on her, startling her from her daydreaming.

“Well Jane-Anne, what do you think of this?” Rosemary asked, but it sounded much more like a demand. A blush crept over Jane-Anne’s face; she hadn’t actually heard a majority of the conversation.

“Who is Chelsea?” Twin sighs of disappointment greeted her, but it was Rosemary who threw her hands up in frustration.

“Well Veronica, this will be a fine wedding. The bride doesn’t know a single thing about it.” She snapped up the wedding planner from the table and stormed off up the stairs. There didn’t seem to be a single thing Jane could do right by her mother-in-law.

Behind her, the French doors flew open, and her future father-in-law came ambling in with an easy smile.

“Looks like the guests are starting to arrive.” He looked around a moment, “Have either of you seen Rosy?” Veronica merely pointed to the stairs and Craig chuckled tightly as though he knew his wife all too well.

“I’ll see if I can coax her down. Veronica, could you have the wait staff start bringing the trays around?” As her mother walked out of the room, Craig approached her. “I apologize for whatever she’s done. Rosemary has an odd way of showing she cares, but hang in there, she’ll warm up eventually.” Jane-Anne nodded, not trusting her voice; Craig was undoubtedly more supportive of her marriage to his only child, something she was sure Rosemary would never be. This was a fine mess she’d gotten herself into. Dignity and grace, she thought to herself, bear it with dignity and grace. 

She wobbled just a little as she walked to the doors, unsteady on the high heels of her shoes. Heels which Rosemary had insisted upon, just like the outfit and the party and the wedding… The fresh air beckoned to her bundled nerves, but her frail peace was shattered when she heard the clicking of her mother’s heels following her outside.

“Jane! Just a moment Jane-Anne!” Unable to hold back her disappointment, Jane gave a light sigh as Veronica came to her side. It was just too much to ask for a moment alone.

“Yes, Mother?” She asked softly, but her attention was elsewhere, searching the yard for her fiancé. Unused to being ignored, Veronica seized hold of her daughter’s arm. That definitely got her attention.

“You should only announce your engagement once; I shouldn’t have to tell you how important this is for you and Peter.” The meaning behind the words was too obvious, only emphasized by the glint in Veronica’s eyes. _This is a chance to make it big, so don’t screw this up Jane-Anne_. Under that firm grip, Jane’s whole body began to tremble. Maybe her mother wouldn’t notice. “If you can’t even stand to have your own mother touch you, how do you expect to keep a man like Peter with you?” So much for hoping. Veronica let her arm go to fix Jane’s curls, and Jane stood still as stone even as her mind screamed. A bone-deep sense of resentment simmered beneath her cool demeanor, rising up to flirt with the surface, but Jane pushed the feeling down, as usual, as her mother fussed with her hair. “Put a smile on your face dear, you have guests.” Just like that, Veronica went off to bask in the attention of the guests as though nothing had happened.

It wasn’t as if her mother had always been that way, full of pride and vanity, but once her parents had moved up in the income brackets, the change in her mother was prominent. The sting from her mother’s comment was lingering far too long for her liking, so Jane took a shaky breath and screwed her face up in the best fake smile she could. _It’s show time_.

Jane-Anne caught a glimpse of Peter’s blonde hair under the gazebo, and also a shorter brunette. So Emelia was here.

Her emotions were still too raw from her altercation with her mother, so Jane took the long way around, walking along the fence to avoid the guests filtering into the back yard.

For as long as she could remember, she hadn’t liked being touched. She hadn’t suffered any trauma or abuse, she just couldn’t seem to handle human contact. Of course, her mother insisted that she was just over reacting, and angered by Jane’s lack of affection, neglected to form any sort of bond with her. Only her father and sister seemed to understand her when she was growing up, and now she had Peter.

Under the gazebo, Emelia Harcourt stood flush against Peter, her delicate hands laid against his chest. From her position, Jane couldn’t see her face, but could see Peter’s profile; his eyes showed a pain that tore into Jane’s heart, the one she supposedly didn’t have, and for a moment she wished that everything was different.

“Hello, Emelia.” Tension gripped the poor girl as Jane entered the gazebo with them. After a moment, Emelia flashed a sweet smile, unable to bring her tear rimmed eyes to meet Jane’s. “The guests have started arriving.” Knowing their que, Emelia gave Peter a light kiss before she left the way Jane had come. It was really a sad thing to behold.

“Hey Jane,” Peter muttered, watching Emelia as she went to join the crowd.

“I like her Peter, you know I do, but whose bright idea was it to invite your mistress?” Poor Peter nearly choked on the sip of cocktail he was drinking, and leveled a half-hearted glare at Jane. In normal circumstances Jane wouldn’t have dared to bring up his and Emelia’s relationship in public, but the comment from her mother had given her a tad more starch in her back bone.

“Now’s not the time for this Jane.” If she’d loved him like she should, she would have been insanely jealous that her fiancé was cheating on her, but it wasn’t like he was going behind her back; Jane knew full well what he was doing when he was ‘going out’. In some ways, Jane was grateful to Emelia for being discrete as well as keeping Peter happy. Maybe if the past had been different, they wouldn’t be in the…situation that they were in.

Emelia and Peter seemed to really love each other, but Emelia had been quite the hell raiser in her youth and her long list of indiscretions had taken her out of the running to be Mrs. Peter Grace; at least according to Rosemary. That’s why he’d found Jane.

“I’m sorry Pete. I shouldn’t have said that,” she said quietly, “but I wasn’t lying, I do like her.” It wasn’t quite the way she’d imagined her life going, but when you’re known as an ice queen, well beggars can’t be choosers. His expression softened towards her significantly as he saw her sincerity. 

“I know, Jane-Anne.” Peter drank deeply from his glass, finishing what was left before continuing. “She likes you too, and I’m sorry we’re all a bit tense right now. If I had to take a guess, I’d guess my mother invited her to stir the pot.” Yes, that did seem exactly like something Rosemary would do. 

“A test of loyalty I’d say. Invite the girlfriend to see if you stay by my side like a good boy.” He gave her a quizzical look, but quickly shook his head with a short laugh.

“Someone’s ruffled your feathers today,” he said sympathetically. “Your mother or mine?” In spite of his golden boy looks, Peter had a good head on his shoulders and could often read her like a book.

“Both, but mine edges out a bit more.” Only Veronica Cody could insult her daughter with the very best of intentions. Too bad Ursula, Jane’s older sister, wouldn’t be able to make it to the party. Ursie had always known how to diffuse their mother, a talent which Jane has never quite mastered, and one which she desperately needed at the moment. 

“What did the she-devil do now?” It was sweet how genuinely concerned he was for her. A barb of guilt lodged in her throat; Peter really was a good man. It was a shame how this all played out. Maybe if she’d have been capable of love, their relationship would have been different, but she seemed to be incapable of that emotion.

“She was wondering how I could ever keep you if I couldn’t handle being touched.” A shared moment of silence passed between them, their mutual pain over the situation bonding them a little closer. “Peter, I-.” Whatever she was about to say was cut off by Rosemary coming upon them. Her eyes held a predatory quality that reminded Jane of mountain lions she’d seen in a documentary; swift and calculating, waiting for just the right moment to strike.

“Prepare to be invaded.” Peter quipped upon seeing his mother approaching.

“Here are the love birds!” With a group of guests trailing after her, Rosemary pulled her son and his fiancé to the center of attention, showing them off like a proud mother hen.

Just as they rehearsed, Peter rested his hand lightly on the small of her back and they smiled, appearing like any happy couple.

So many people, virtual strangers, kept coming up to them offering congratulations and advice as though they’d known the couple for years. Many men pat Peter on the back, giving suggestive winks and nudges since he’d “scored a hottie”, and the women gave Jane envious looks while telling her she better keep Peter close. It was hard to believe that these people represented the social elite of their town. They could all shove it…

Jane was determined to be on her best behavior, so she remained glued to Peter’s side, taking refuge in the fact that he kept most of the people at bay. Wave after wave of well-wishers crowded under the gazebo making it claustrophobic to say the least, and at one point, Jane and Peter were separated. Jane frantically searched for him, but Pete had been dragged away to the far side. It would be impossible to get to him without forcing her way through the people surrounding her. Jane-Anne waited for a window in the crowd and unapologetically slipped away, hoping that Peter wouldn’t worry about her. Since most of these people were strangers to her, they didn’t seem to notice that she had left, and she gratefully took a deep breath of cool afternoon air.

“Did she invite the whole town?” Muttering to herself, Jane watched the commotion she’d just escaped. Just like sardines. Peter had noticed her absence, she’d realized, and she burst out in a fit of giggles when he gave her a comical scowl as if to say _how dare you leave me here alone_. She blew him a guiltless kiss and simply sauntered away. Just a few hours of this, and then life would go back to normal.

Strolling around the perfectly manicured lawn, Jane could hear the whispers of the guests floating to her above the light background music Rosemary had chosen.

_Well if you ask me, they don’t seem to even like each other._

_She’s not even Peter’s type._

_She’s just like Rosemary was at that age._

All the people who’d just congratulated her on her engagement were now gossiping like there was no tomorrow. Bless his heart, Peter had warned her of this kind of business, so she couldn’t really say she was surprised; in a society where people still held garden parties and family secrets were taken to the grave, the social scene could be quite cruel. Unlike with her mother, their careless words washed away easily, and why that was, she couldn’t exactly say.

As a server came by, she gladly accepted a flute of champagne off the silver tray, hoping that the cool bubbly liquid would ease her tension. Mid-drink, a sound brought Jane to a sudden stop, her blood freezing in her veins. The laughter she’d heard was innocent and mirthful, but she’d heard it before, in another time, some other place.

Of their own volition, her legs carried her to the sound, oblivious to everything around her. There was no way… not here…not now.

“The house is fine dad, I swear.” That voice. She would have known it anywhere. Where had it come from? Veins unfrozen, her heart began pounding, its pulse roaring so loudly in her ears. “I’ll see you on Monday.” Once she came around the towering topiaries, Jane stopped short, seeing the person who haunted her dreams. With a trembling voice, Jane could only manage to whisper his name.

“A.J.?”


	2. Seeing Ghosts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who was the mystery man? What happened between them? 
> 
> All will be explained.

His phone fell onto the grass as though the bones had dissolved from his hand. He wasn’t even certain what he’d heard, but that voice was unmistakable. Very slowly, A.J. Casey turned around to see if he was right; he’d dreamed her voice too many times, but never had it sounded so real. Just an arm’s length behind him stood the girl who had plagued his mind for the last two years.

“Janie.” Her name was a shocked, but reverent sign on his lips, hanging in the air between them. Even if she was a hallucination, or a figment of his imagination, A.J. hoped he never stopped seeing her. 

Jane watched as his hand came up level to her face like he was going to touch her, but he stayed back, not making the contact. Was this really happening? On the day she was supposed to announce her engagement, was she really face to face with the man who’d broken her heart?

“A.J., what are-? How did-?” Little black ripples formed around the edges of her vision. She had forgotten how to breathe. As her heart pounded dully, Jane felt her eyes flutter closed and the champagne flute fall from her hand; she was going to faint, and couldn’t do a thing to stop it. Careening towards the ground, the last thing she felt before blacking out was not the cool plushness of the grass, but the gentle embrace of welcoming arms.

000

“Janie, wake up,” a voice called to her, “come on honey, show me your eyes.” From the dark mist she was floating in, Jane could hear them taking, murmuring softly against her ear. _What happened?_ Coming to was a slow process for her but with each breath, she could feel herself rousing. Warmth…she could feel the most wonderful warmth against her back. It felt like a dream, and it broke her heart. How long had she ached for this? Tears trickled down her pale cheeks, but were wiped away with a soft touch. “Open your eyes Janie, please.” How could she refuse?

Jane forced her eyes open, made easy by the wet tears, and she found herself looking into the sweetest blue eyes she’d ever seen.

A.J. watched her cautiously, fearing she might faint again. She felt just the way he’d always imagined, soft and delicate, like a little bit of heaven, but she was not his to hold. Maybe in another time, she could have been…

“A.J.” Her voice failed her, just when she needed to speak most. Two years of wanting and waiting boiled up inside her, but the words refused to come. With a gentleness she hadn’t expected, A.J. helped her to stand up, yet once on her feet, her weight on her left ankle sent a bolt of pain up her leg. A yelp escaped her lips that she couldn’t manage to hold back, and before she collapsed back to the ground, she reached out, and A.J. caught her again. Without a second thought, he scooped her up against his chest. His touch was electric, awakening every nerve in her body. Jane was sick anticipating the trembling that always followed touch, but it never came. She lay totally still wrapped in his arms. 

“Jane, are you hurt?” Peter, white knight that he was, had come running at the sound of Jane’s cry, but was ultimately shocked to find her literally in the arms of another man. “Alfred? What the hell’s going on?” For a brief moment, Jane didn’t recognize him, but once the shock of it ebbed away, her face flamed. Her fiancé… 

“I think I twisted my ankle in the grass, and A…Alfred helped me up.” Not a lie, really. Peter seemed to watch A.J. with familiarity, and that sent off warning bells. “Wait, you know each other?” The thought of them being acquaintances was just too strange; after all, hadn’t she spent two year hoping she’d find him again?

“Al’s our security consultant,” Peter explained, still staring at them with wide eyes, “and right now he works out of our Colorado branch.” Alfred worked for Pete? How long had he been that close without her knowing? “Alfred, that’s Jane, my fiancé.” A.J.’s hold on her tightened, and Jane could see the blood drain from his face, a blank look sweeping over him.

“Nice to meet you. Peter’s told me a lot about you.” He responded automatically, trying to wrap his head around this news.

“I can take her.” Peter came up to him, arms out to receive her; Jane’s hand grasped the lapel on A.J.’s coat in a death grip, and A.J. made no move to relinquish her. The men watched each other over her head for a moment, neither moving. It was Pete who finally broke the stare-down to give her a very concerned look. 

“That’s alright,” Alfred said, his voice soft and melancholy, “I wouldn’t want to drop her handing her over. I’ll take her in to sit down.” But they stayed right where they were. It looked like Peter was waiting for her to say something to explain this whole scene, yet she remained silent.

“Is that okay with you Jane-Anne?” He finally asked, and her nodding response was immediate. She looked so calm with A.J., like she somehow belonged there. Something more going on here that he wasn’t a part of, and the realization brought a smile to his lips. “I’ll be out here if you need me.” 

With that, A.J. walked off. His steps couldn’t be called slow, his legs were too long for that, but Jane could tell he was taking his time getting to the house. She didn’t mind at all. So many things had happened in her life since she’d last seen A.J.; she’d moved out into her own apartment, she’d started a new job, she’d gotten engaged, all things she wished she’d shared with him. Could he really be here right now, holding her like she was something precious?

“You were in Colorado?” They might not have that much time alone, or much time together period: The weight of that tightened her throat painfully.

“Not the whole time,” he started hesitantly, “I went back east for a few months to my dad’s timeshare, and when I came back I got the job from Grace Industries.” He’d been pretty lost during that time, and he’d known it. Things could have gone a completely different way between them, but once he saw the way she looked at him, like he’d hung the moon and made the stars, he ran as far away as he could. Janie hadn’t deserved it, and she might not ever understand his choices, but he’d done it to protect them both; history had a nasty way of repeating itself, and A.J. had been determined to avoid that. If only he’d know how it would affect their lives. 

“Did you-? Are you with someone?” Mortification that she’d even asked the question flooded her face, yet she found herself nervously awaiting the answer. Ever since he’d left, she’d wondered if there was another woman, someone who could attract him like she couldn’t. As she waited, she studied his face, unable to look away; A.J. maybe wasn’t as conventionally handsome as Peter, yet his heart and character were enough to win over the most distant of women. She should know. 

“No.” As simple as that, he gave her his answer. The single word held so much meaning for him. There hadn’t been anyone in the two years since they’d parted, and the tone of his voice, so quiet and gruff, shook her to the core. To her observant ears, it sounded as if, just maybe, she’d meant something to him. Maybe he’d regretted leaving her. 

Jane let out a sardonic laugh that stuck in her throat on the way out; it wasn’t likely that that was the reason he’d stayed single. He’d probably been so busy at work and with setting up his house that he didn’t have time to date.

On the topic of staying single, A.J.’s mind was hard at work calculating and pondering just how the Janie he knew had ended up with his boss. He’d known from casual break room talk that Peter had only been engaged for a few weeks, but also that Peter rarely talked about his fiancé. Most people at work wouldn’t shut up about their home lives, but the usually talkative Peter never seemed to be interested in talking about his upcoming wedding, or his future bride. How much had she changed in his absence?

The Jane-Anne that he’d known was sarcastic and witty and a little distant, but once he’d gotten to know her, he learned that was all a façade, hiding the fact that she was fragile. In college, during some of their seemingly endless study sessions, Janie had opened up to him about everything in her life; her uncaring mother, her phobia of touch, and her fear that she wasn’t able to love. Obviously Peter had been able to change her mind about that. 

“Peter and I…” It hurt deeply to keep everything bunched up inside of her; not even Ursula was privy to all the details of her relationship with Peter, and she’d never known about A.J.. Without the words to explain her feelings or the situation she was in, Jane dejectedly laid her head again A.J.’s chest, savoring the few moments of human contact her mishap had afforded her. He felt so good to her, strong and steady, anchoring her. Under her ear, she could hear the rhythmic thumping of his heart, could feel it with the tips of her fingers. How ironic that he was so unaware of the miracle he was giving her. 

A.J. hardly seemed to break a sweat carrying her weight up the stairs, his movements were smooth and he never faltered. If only this moment could last forever. The French doors had been left open for the wait staff, so A.J. walked right into the sitting area. _Please don’t put me down,_ Jane pleaded, but only in her mind. She had no right to ask for more than he’d given her, or at least that’s what she told herself.

Looking around the room, he saw that they were alone aside from the waiters coming and going with their trays. Who knew when they’d get another moment like this? _It’s now or never_ , A.J. thought, and he started to shake with nerves. 

“Janie, I’ve been wanting to tell you-.” Just as he was finally going to get it all off his chest, he was cut off by a sharp gasp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! These characters are like my babies and I love to see them work things out! 
> 
> I added my writer’s email to my profile, so if anyone would like to reach out to me, it’s highlandrose1743@yahoo.com. 
> 
> As always, if you liked it, feel free to leave a comment or kudos!
> 
> HighlandRose


	3. Or So The Story Goes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry to anyone who has been waiting for the next chapter. I've been after my beta readers for weeks to review and edit the chapter, but they both seem to be pretty busy. I may be in the market for a reliable beta reader soon, but until then, I've decided to simply post that chapter I have.
> 
> Sincerest apologies, 
> 
> HighlandRose

“What in heaven’s name is going on?” Out of nowhere, Peter’s great-aunt Nancy descended upon them with heavy disapproval in her eyes. A flare of annoyance shot through Jane, but she reined it back; she promised Peter she wouldn’t fight with his family today.

“I tripped outside and twisted my ankle.” Jane-Anne made sure her voice stayed firm, not letting Nancy see that she’d been rattled. _Aunt_ Nancy was much like an attack dog; if she smelled fear, she’d go for the kill, that’s how Peter had described her. “This man was kind enough to bring me inside.” She turned her gaze back to A.J., and pled to God that Nancy’s intrusion hadn’t dissuaded him from continuing what he was going to say. What had he been wanting to tell her?

“Why wasn’t it Peter who carried you in?” This woman could try the patience of a saint. From the start of Jane’s relationship with Peter, Nancy had been looking for some reason to dislike her, for some grounds to break up them up. To Nancy, Peter could have picked a better horse for the race, and she’d find a way to prove it.

“Peter is still entertaining the guests. It wouldn’t have suited to have both guests of honor missing.” Nancy couldn’t ignore simple manners, but the way this young man was holding Jane…she had something to discuss with Rosemary. She lifted her nose in the air like any old-fashioned socialite and gave a dismissive wave, as if she hadn’t believed a word of it.

“Whatever you say Miss Cody.” The smugness on her face stirred up an uneasiness in the room. A.J. didn’t know whether he wanted to set Janie down or whisk her off somewhere else, away from the stuffy old woman.

“What are you implying _Miz_ Nancy?” Jane found Emelia leaning against the kitchen door frame, green eyes flaring with anger. “Are you saying that on the day of her engagement to your nephew, Jane-Anne would deliberately injure herself so a stranger would carry her away from the party for some clandestine meeting like the piece of trash you want to think of her as?” At first, Jane thought Nancy would faint, what with her face draining of color, but her pallor was quickly overshadowed by flaming red.

“I…I didn’t _imply_ anything. You little….Rosemary!” They all watched as the old woman shuffled out of the house to find Rosemary, likely to relay her outrage. Emelia seemed to be pleased with herself and her outburst, seeing as it was Nancy who had broken her and Peter up, but also because Nancy had no reason to be hateful to Jane. As far as the Grace family was concerned, Emelia was the trash, and Jane was her perfect replacement.

“Sorry about that.” She came over to the couch, sitting with a heavy sigh. “The old bat had it coming.” Like Peter had done earlier, she watched Jane with more than a hint of curiosity, and locked eyes with her, questioning if she should intervene. A.J. reluctantly set Jane down on the adjacent sofa and set a pillow on the coffee table to elevate her leg. He decided to sit beside her, rather than in empty armchair; he didn’t want their closeness to end any sooner than it needed to. _She’s not yours_. As if he needed a reminder, Peter strode in.

“Are you girls okay?” It was strange to A.J. that Peter looked to Emelia first, rather than his fiancé, but his curiosity faded when Jane spoke up.

“You missed Nancy getting called out on her rudeness.” The way she smiled, as though unaffected by Nancy’s barbs, set everyone at ease. Despite her inner turmoil, she could still manage that. When she wished for them to leave, Peter sat by Emelia, and the four shared an awkward silence.

“Could you please get an ice pack for my ankle Peter?” Like the doting fiancé, he hopped up and rushed to the kitchen, coming back with a wrapped gel pack.

“Here you go.” Most people would have put the ice on for her, but Peter handed it over, studiously ensuring that his fingers didn’t even graze hers. While Jane-Anne applied it, Peter sat back by Emelia, making himself comfortable.

Damn it, why couldn’t Pete and Emelia just go find a place to make out and give her some privacy? A.J. was so close, she could feel the heat coming off of him, and it was sending little shivers through her body. Instead of nausea in the pit of her stomach, she felt a pleasant sort of fluttering throughout her stomach and chest; _anticipation_? Jane had a vague recollection of feeling this before…two years ago; never before, and never since.

“I’d have paid money to see that.” Peter laughed warmly as he set his arm across the back of the sofa. If Jane leaned over far enough, she bet she could see Peter stroking the back of Emelia’s neck. Why did it matter to Jane what they did? She and Pete had an understanding that there was nothing romantic going on between the two of them; so why could she feel jealousy stabbing deep in her heart.

“It was definitely a sight to see.” A.J. sighed. It had been a bit shocking to see Emelia’s catty exchange with the older woman, but he’d definitely gotten the feeling that he didn’t know the story behind all of this.

“Aunt Nancy’s been a handful for as long as anyone can remember. Even mother isn’t safe from her judgement.” At that comment, chuckles burst out of Emelia gaining her a few odd looks.

“Sorry,” regaining her composure, Emelia cleared her throat and sat up straight. “Peter, aren’t you going to introduce us?” All eyes went to A.J. which brought a bit of blush to his face. He wasn’t crazy about being the center of attention.

“Oh sorry, Emelia, this is Alfred. He’s the security consultant for the Colorado branch.” They shook hands over the coffee table, and Jane watched Emelia size him up. _She already had Peter, why was she gauging A.J?_

“Nice to meet you.” A.J. sat back down and edged a hair closer, letting their knees touch gently. That’s was it. Jane’s whole body was on fire, and she fought the urge to touch him more.

“Likewise,” Emelia said sweetly, but there was mischief in her eyes. “Jane, have you two met before?” Oh no. No one knew about Jane’s relationship with A.J., or whatever had been between them, and the thought of sharing it now had her quaking inside. Having A.J.’s blue eyes watching her intently would normally have unnerved her, but now Jane drew strength from him. This is what she’d wanted for so long; why hide it now from the two she was keeping secrets for?

“Yes, we have.” After Peter had come upon them outside, he’d begun to question their history. A.J. had made it seem like they were strangers. “We had several classes together in college.” That was how she’d managed the impossible; she’d fallen in love. Being around A.J. nearly every day for two years had given her time to grow comfortable with him, to get accustomed to his nearness. Towards the end, she’d actually begun to crave his company, and she’d been ready to finally have someone touch her. She’d never had the nerve to make the first move though. By the time Jane had drawn up the courage to take the first steps, he had left her.

Pete and Emelia traded curious glances but didn’t get the chance to say anything as they saw Rosemary escorting the guests inside. She shot their little group a fiery glare, obviously having heard from Nancy, but graciously led the rain streaked guests into the sitting room.

“Can you believe this weather?” Without saying a word, Rosemary pulled Peter off the couch and into the flood of people; far away from Emelia and Jane.

“Back to reality.” Emelia gave Jane a half-hearted smile before running off to find a waiter with some water. Several people gave her odd looks for having her foot on the coffee table, but no one actually bothered to ask her about it. Better to observe the drama than be a part of it.

“Oh my gosh, you’re Jane-Anne aren’t you?” The bubbly voice came from a stately blonde who had rushed to her side. Jane hadn’t the faintest idea who she was, so she flashed a little smile and nodded. “Rosemary has told me so much about you,” Blondie sat across from her, and proceeded to chatter like a magpie. “I can’t believe you managed to snatch up Peter,” she laughed, the warm melody of it grating on Jane’s fragile nerves. Sensing her annoyance, the blonde rethought her comment. “I just meant that he’s so busy with his work, everyone thought he’d never find a bride, let alone so soon after…well, the incident.” That piqued A.J.’s interest a bit, so he decided to join in.

“What incident?” He came right out and asked. “I’m sorry, I’m not privy to the drama from this neck of the woods, Miss…?” Well he was certainly charming when he wanted to be. The blonde grinned and took his outstretched hand for a handshake.

“Benson. Chelsea Benson.” So _this_ was Chelsea. Jane had remembered the mention of Chelsea at the wedding planning earlier, but hadn’t expected to meet her.

“Alfred Casey.” It seemed that Jane had met him in another era. No one knew ‘A.J.’, just business like ‘Alfred’. She guessed no one knew that under his formal suit was a man who loved anime and greasy pizza. People didn’t know the man who went into fits of giggles when he was tired from studying all night, or the guy who played a literal cow in a college production of Hey Diddle Diddle. Jane-Anne had to wonder if _he_ remembered that man.

“So nice to meet you Alfred. Anyhow, I’m not sure that Miss Jane-Anne would want us talking about this, especially since _she’s_ here.” Her mouth said one thing, but Chelsea’s eyes said another. Obviously she was chomping at the bit to discuss the drama unfolding at the Grace house. Jane just hoped that Emelia was far enough away that she wouldn’t hear any of this.

“I’m well aware of the ‘incident’ Chelsea. Peter was very forthcoming before we started dating.” Not that she’d call what they did dating. Their idea of ‘dating’ was Peter, Jane, and Emelia going places together like the movies or dinner, or Jane lying to Rosemary saying they were going out when he was actually having a romantic evening with Emelia.

“Oh well then I guess it’s fine to enlighten Alfred.” Ah yes, so tactful. Most people loved to casually bring this up, just to rub it in a little bit more that the Grace golden boy wasn’t so perfect. “Just about a year ago, Peter was seeing a woman with a rather…questionable past. When he found out, he broke it off with her, and not even her family’s name kept her from shame.” Damn it to hell, Jane fumed, that was not how it happened.

“That’s sort of sad.” A.J. muttered, questioning what he knew about Peter. Yeah about a year ago Peter had went through a slump for a few months, but everyone at work had written it off as stress from the job.

“How long have you and Peter been together?” What a question. Chelsea gave her a proverbial ‘cat that caught the canary’ smile, knowing full well how it looked for their relationship.

“I’d have to say about eight months officially, though we’ve been friends for longer.” And they still were friends. Nothing in their whole messed up relationship would change that. Jane had actually been friends with him when he was still seeing Emelia, and was with him during the fallout after Nancy had discovered Emelia’s past. The real story was much sadder than the rumor; Peter hadn’t left Em willingly, she’d left him. Nancy and Rosemary has been so convinced that Emelia was ruinous for the family’s image that they threatened to fire and disinherit Peter if he didn’t break up with her.

“Oh wow, and already engaged? You two must be so in love!” That bubbling laughter was going to drive her mad. “If it were me, I’d be livid with whoever invited that woman to my engagement party.” Jane was livid alright, but not with Emelia. This blonde was going to get a swift kick where the sun don’t shine if she didn’t start minding her own business.

“Actually, I don’t mind at all. Emelia hasn’t done me any wrong, and _I’m_ the one marrying Peter.” She wouldn’t be if Emelia hadn’t broken things off with him. Peter, prince of a man that he was, was going to give up everything for Em, but she refused to let him. She’d been so scared that Peter would come to hate her that she’d let him go. Now she was relegated to mistress, happy as she could be with what she was given.

“Of course you are. You’re like Mary Poppins aren’t you; practically perfect in every way.” The hint of sarcasm was thinly veiled, but thankfully Chelsea had had her fun and waltzed away to find another group to chat with. Jane would have to tell Rosemary right away to take Chelsea off the wedding list.

“What was all that about?” A soft nudge against her knee snapped her out of her thoughts. Would his touch always feel like lightning; breathtaking and electric?

“Peter and Emelia-.” Cut off again, Jane snarled quietly, but her anger was fast replaced by surprise when she looked at the intruder.

“What happened to you Short Stack?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens... I know I leave things on cliffhangers a lot, but that's sort of my calling card (I'm working on it).
> 
> As always, if you liked this, please leave a comment or kudos :)
> 
> Love,
> 
> HighlandRose


	4. The Best Laid Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are beginning to unravel in their perfect little world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry for the long wait, the holidays gave me a bad case of writer's block, but hopefully now I'm back in full swing.

“I thought you were working.” Despite her annoyance with Chelsea, her confusion over A.J., and her general displeasure over the night’s events, Jane-Anne was genuinely pleased to see her father.

“Told the boss that I wasn’t going to miss my little girl’s big announcement no matter what.” That brought a genuine smile to her lips. No matter what, she had the love of one of her parents. “Now are you going to tell me what you did to yourself?” He nodded toward her ankle.

“I twisted it in the grass outside. Not used to the heels I guess.” The little white lie brought a guilty blush to A.J.’s face, and she hoped her father wouldn’t notice it. It hadn’t been his fault that she’d fainted on him, but her father was one of the last people she wanted knowing about that.

“You shouldn’t have let Rosemary and your mom talk you into wearing them. Those things look like death traps.” The death traps in question were modestly tall pumps, but she could see how intimidating they could be to a man. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Alfred, Daddy. He and Peter work together in the Colorado office.” In all the time she’d spent with him, she’d always wondered how A.J. and her father would get along. Like most girls, Jane had always idolized her father, and she had wished that her father would like him. The difference now was that she was introducing him as a stranger, rather than someone important to her. In truth, A.J. was likely the _most_ important person in her life, regardless of his absence; she’d learned so many valuable things about herself during their time together, and that knowledge was precious to her.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Richard Cody.” The men shook hands, allowing Jane to marvel at the differences between them; her father’s hand was calloused and weathered, a testament to his lifetime of work, while A.J.’s were smooth aside from a faint bit of roughness at the tips from typing on keyboards. Further evaluation showed that A.J. stood several inches taller than her father and he lacked the same bulky musculature, instead possessing rather gangly limbs that held surprising strength; he’d been able to lift _her_ after all.

Despite their outside differences, both men had the unique ability to make her feel happy and safe, and each held a special place in her heart.

“It’s nice to meet you too sir.” Jane’s chest felt both warm and tight, her happiness and anxiety waging a war of dominance. There was no telling what was going to happen during the rest of the party; someone else might bring up Peter and Emelia, Nancy could go into another fit, the possibilities were endless, and to Jane it couldn’t end soon enough.

For eight months, she’d played her part perfectly, done and said all the right things, trying to fit into this idyllic picture. Not once in all that time had she ever felt as _good_ as she did then, with A.J. by her side. Jane and Peter had reached their agreement because she had thought it was her only way to have what she’d desperately craved; a home with children to love, and a sense of normalcy. How could she go back to acting like the doting fiancé to a man she didn’t love when she could feel her heart truly beating again?

Richard had set himself down into the chair next to A.J. and they were making small talk. Jane didn’t hear a word of it. She sat back, allowing her body to rest against his, soaking in the warmth of him. She could feel him press back into her lightly while he continued to talk.

The feeling of Jane’s soft body next to his stirred something inside of him that he hadn’t thought possible. He felt hope.

Two years ago, they had been such close friends, and that was all he’d dared to hope for at the time. Jane was a feisty, vivacious imp most days, and he could see how young and full of life she was. That’s where the snag was. He could finally admit that he’d become downright scared out of his mind when Jane had told him she was only twenty years old. Somehow with all her grace and maturity, he thought she was much older, not ten years his junior.

Hearing that, he’d immediately thought of his parent’s horrifying divorce; his mother’s infidelity, which she’d blamed on the age difference between herself and his father. A.J. was so terrified of ending up like his dad that he’d written off any possibility of having a romantic relationship with Jane, or so he thought.

Janie had never openly made any advanced toward him, but A.J. could see that the more time he spent with her, the more comfortable she grew, and the more she began to flirt in her own innocent way. Just after he’d graduated, he let his fear get the better of him, and he ran away. From her, the risk of heartbreak, and the potential for something great.

Regret hung over him, a heavy weight holding him captive. The image of Jane sitting among society, Peter’s ring on her finger, was crushing him; he’d missed his chance.

The ring that Alfred was agonizing over was beginning to feel like a vice for Jane. Her simple silver engagement ring was making her claustrophobic. There was no way she could go through with all of this.

“Jane, it’s time.” In true Rosemary fashion, she ignored Jane’s obvious pain and pulled her out of her seat. Dear lord did it hurt, but Jane-Anne dutifully limped behind Rosemary until she was brought to stand next to Peter. A.J. watched with irritation as well as interest as Peter leaned in to whisper something in Jane’s ear, only to see Jane pull away with a shake of her head. Instead of using Peter for a support, Jane balanced on one foot, obviously uncomfortable. Was she being independent, or was she actually avoiding Peter’s touch?

Come to think of it, A.J. hadn’t seen them touch at all during the course of the party. Not even the slightest graze. Peter’s arm came around her waist, stiff and unnatural, and A.J. could tell from his angle that Peter wasn’t actually touching her, instead hovering at a small distance. He felt heat creep over him on all the places where Jane had been touching _him_ just moments before.

“Ladies and gentlemen, if we could have your attention.” Rosemary tapped the edge of her champagne glass with a silver knife, and all eyes came to her. Peter and Jane looked regal and reserved, but there was a hint of panic in their eyes, as if they weren’t ready for what was to come. “Craig and I would like to formally announce the engagement of our son Peter to Miss Jane-Anne Cody.” The room erupted with applause from everyone but A.J., and Emelia who both watched with sadness.

That should have been the end of it, Jane prayed that was the end, but Rosemary continued into forbidden territory.

“It’s the hope of every parent that their child finds someone worthy of them, and Peter has _finally_ found such a woman. To Peter and Jane-Anne.” She held up her glass in a toast, and the whole party drank deeply. Jane turned to Peter and saw murder in his eyes.

It was one thing to idly pass gossip between the family friends, but for Rosemary to openly ridicule Emelia, that was unforgivable.

“Not here Peter.” Jane kept her voice low as she whispered in his ear. Anyone else would think she was kissing his cheek, but she was desperately trying to calm him down. “This isn’t the time or the place Pete. We can deal with this later, just go find Em.” Undoubtedly, Emelia had heard that little speech and was likely upset.

While he wasn’t glaring at his mother, Jane could see the anger in his face. The self-satisfied smile that Rosemary wore withered under that stern look from her son, and she moved back.

“Excuse me.” He stepped past the two of them and stalked off, hopefully to find where Emelia had gone. 

“Why can’t you just leave it alone?” Jane’s tone held nothing back; the annoyance and admonishment bared to anyone within hearing distance. It was pathetic how wrapped up Rosemary and her friends were in the Emelia/Peter drama, how unaware they were of the fact that their attitudes were hurting people, and how their best efforts had been for naught since the two were still secretly together. Sickened by the whole ordeal, Jane searched for A.J., craving the comfort his presence brought.

He wasn’t sitting on the couch anymore, and that brought fresh panic to her. Surely he hadn’t left again? Not without saying goodbye. Even the thought of that brought the hot burn of fresh tears… It felt like she’d barely survived the first time, and it was doubtful she’d make it through a second.

Richard was taking in the tense scene wearing a sly look of knowing. Someday soon, he felt, everything was going to come to head. It would be an ugly mess, but that was a worry for a different day. Until then, he relinquished his seat to go to Jane. 

“What’s wrong Short Stack?” She nearly jumped out of her skin when he’d startled her out of her thoughts. Like the stoic she was, Jane put on her brave face and pushed her tears back.

“Just day dreaming I guess.” Jane cringed at her horrible explanation. She’d never been very good at lying to her dad, and now was not an exception. “Did you see where Alfred went off to? I needed to discuss a plan Peter had for the security system.” There was no way her father was believing a word of this; all she wanted to do was run away from this place, but she was better than that now.

“I think I saw him head back outside. It’s pouring so he couldn’t have gotten far.” He wouldn’t drive off without saying goodbye to Peter at the very least. What was he doing in the rain?

“Thank you daddy.” Jane hobbled to the back door, trying to act unhurried while her heart was trying to escape her chest. She’d just check that he was still here, and that would be that…

Far in the back of the house, Emelia was sitting on Peter’s old bed trying to staunch the flood of tears pouring from her. Normally she wasn’t much of a crier, but these days… she’d turned into a weeping mess. God she hoped that Peter and Jane-Anne didn’t see her leave like that; she promised herself she’d be strong for them.

Emelia couldn’t bring herself to regret her relationship with Peter, he was the love of her life, but no amount of love could make up for how much she hated his family. Not all of his family really, just Rosemary and Nancy. Those two had taken the best thing in her life and destroyed it all because she’d been young and stupid.

“Just stop already!” She hopped off the bed, pacing the floor in her frustration. It felt ridiculous to be begging with herself, but she couldn’t help it; she needed to pull herself together if not for her sake, then for Peter and Jane. From the start of this whole ordeal, Emelia has sworn she wouldn’t let them see how much this was tearing her up. Yes it had been her idea to breakup with him, and it was also her idea for him to marry Jane-Anne, but she couldn’t convince herself that she was truly happy about it. No matter how miserable she was, at least Peter wouldn’t hate her if he lost everything because of her. Damn Rosemary and her ultimatums.

When Emelia had children, they would know they were loved unconditionally, regardless of who they chose to love. Just like that, a new wave of tears took over. Kids. This was a huge mess.

“Em, are you in here?” Peter’s blonde head poked into the room, and he immediately locked eyes with Emelia. Without a second thought, he slipped in, closing the door behind him. There wasn’t a lock on the door, but no one would be venturing this far into the house during a party. “Come here babe.” His strong arms wrapped her up in a vice, no questions asked. Every last effort Emelia had made to compose herself dissolved into a puddle, and she clung to him like her life depended on it.

While her body was heaving with sobs, Peter just held her tight. Their carefully constructed plan was tearing them to pieces. It had seemed like a great idea in the beginning; Jane-Anne got her home and family, and Peter got to be with Emelia. With Emelia bawling in his arms, Peter was certain it wasn’t worth it anymore.

“I’m sorry.” The apology was choked out between her sobs, barely audible, but there nonetheless.

“What are you sorry for?” His disbelief clouded his growing anger in his voice. She had no reason to be sorry. This whole situation wouldn’t exist if his mother and great aunt hadn’t decided to interfere and play judge, jury, and executioner on his relationship. “I don’t think this is going to work.” Hearing his words, Emelia’s whole body grew tense stone. “We need to tell Jane-Anne that this entire thing is off. It’s not worth it if we’re just going to suffer the whole time.” As soon as he’d said it, Emelia was struggling to get out of his arms.

“We promised her Peter.” This couldn’t be happening. Emelia could live through this because there wasn’t another choice, but Peter apparently couldn’t get that through his head. “Your mother is never going to accept our being together, and we made a deal with Jane-Anne. If we go back on that, Jane has nothing, and I won’t do that to her.” Reneging her promise to Jane would be something she regretted for the rest of her life, and only prove that she was as terrible a person as Rosemary thought she was.

“Emelia, we can’t keep this up, it’s obviously hurting you.” No shit, Sherlock. There had never been a time that she could remember ever being so depressed, but that was her cross to bear; she wasn’t going to let him give up his job and his family for her.

“I’m a big girl Pete. This was my choice as much as it was yours.” Unable to stand by him anymore, she sat back on the bed, arms snaked around her middle to comfort herself.

Peter looked at her, taking in the pain he saw there and sighed. He hadn’t recalled having much of a choice in this matter. After his mother had threatened to disown him and Emelia had broken thing off with him, he’d been presented with the plan to marry Jane. Emelia would only agree to be with him if he kept their relationship secret and married Jane to satisfy his mother. He loved Emelia enough to marry her, but if that was the only way he could have her, he had no choice but to agree.

“This is hurting me too Em.” All he wanted was to be hers, and to have her as his own. “I don’t care if my mother disowns me, I just want to be with you.” A groan of exasperation escaped from Emelia because Peter could be so dense sometimes.

“It’s not just your family you’d be giving up Peter, and you need to realize that.” How many times had she told him before? “Your mother threatened you with disinheritance and removal from Grace Production too.” Instead of backing down, Peter knelt before her, gently pulling her hands from her sides to hold them.

“I’ll miss my dad for sure, but I don’t need their money, and I can always find another job.” To Peter, everything could be worked out quite simply, but he was a dreamer who usually couldn’t see the bigger picture. Emelia was a realist, determined to make the situation work for all involved.

“And what happens if you don’t find another job? You’re on the board Peter, you probably won’t find another position that pays as well or have the benefits. What happens when we’re struggling in a shitty little apartment, trying to make the bills? Or if we have a child, how will we afford daycare? These are things you don’t seem to consider Peter.” Would the tears ever stop? The more she talked about it, the tighter her chest grew until she was sure she might have a panic attack. Why couldn’t he see that she was right and just go along with the plan?

“I don’t care about all that Em.” His strong fingers rubbed her temples to calm her down, while he pressed tender kisses into her hair. “We wouldn’t be the first couple to struggle, and I’ll work as hard as I can to make sure everything is taken care of.” Emelia loved her sweet and naïve knight in shining armor, but she just couldn’t let him do it.

“I won’t have you hate me.” After a little while of working themselves into the ground, Peter would start to miss the easier life he’d had with his family company and begin to hate her for it. There was always the chance that he wouldn’t, but Emelia was too afraid to risk it. Instead of waiting for a response, Emelia leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was long and bittersweet, but she gave it her all, wanting to remind him that she loved him no matter what.

“Peter. Elias. Grace.” Panic struck him to the core. Rosemary stood at the door, white-knuckling the knob, rage emanating from her. Peter stood up straight, turning so that Emelia was blocked from her view. “Get downstairs this instant, you still have guests.” He nodded in acknowledgement but didn’t budge; he wouldn’t go until she did, not trusting her to be alone with Emelia. “And you,” she addressed Emelia with venom dripping from every word, “will stay until the guests have gone home. We will discuss _this_ later.” As silently as she’d come, Rosemary was off, back to play the perfect hostess. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, if you liked this, please leave a comment or kudos. I would really like to know your thoughts on how the story is progressing. 
> 
> Enjoy, and have a great day!
> 
> Love, 
> 
> HighlandRose


	5. Like Ships in the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane-Anne and A.J. are finally alone...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is even longer than the last! It makes me so happy! 
> 
> Fair warning, I cried while writing this chapter.

Shivers of anticipation had Jane absolutely trembling as she walked into the cool rain. The pelting drops fell over her, their touch reminding her of how it had been to be touched by A.J.. How had she gone so long without knowing such a feeling? Emelia had once tried to explain how it felt to be touched by someone you loved, but Jane couldn’t wrap her mind around it. If she’d been bolder, she would have asked Emelia how it felt to make love, but she just couldn’t bring herself to. It wasn’t like she had planned on ever going that far with anyone, she and Peter had already discussed which doctors to go to when she decided she was ready for a child, but now the thought of A.J. kept floating around her brain, making her warm despite the chill of the rain.

Jane found him suddenly, like by just thinking of him she’d managed to summon him; through the haze of the downpour she could see him pacing under the cover of the gazebo. Relief came over her so quickly that she thought she might faint again. Without a care other than her ankle, she walked across the sopping lawn to him.

A.J. was so deep in concentration that he almost missed the flash of blue coming toward him in the rain. His whole being stopped, watching Jane come to him like a vision. God, she was beautiful. He’d dated his share of women in his younger days, but none of them had ever been as pure and genuine as her. That was probably what had made the difference with her; with all the others, they’d just been like pictures, he could see them, but could never connect with them on a deeper level. With Jane, yes she’d been a pretty face, picture perfect to him, but with the depth of an ocean.

Two years had done little to diminish his view of her, or to ease his longing for her company. He missed the way they laughed together, how even in a crowded room it seemed like they were the only two. During lectures they’d share glances and smiles, as if they knew something the rest of the class didn’t. Jane was so precious to him, and he’d given her up.

Only when she stood before him shaking like a wet leaf did he pull back from his thoughts and come back into the moment.

“Janie, you’re soaked to the bone.” His jacket wasn’t completely dry, but it was dryer than she was so he draped it across her shoulders and brought the front together with his hands. Just when he thought things couldn’t get any worse, Jane looked up at him with her soft brown doe eyes, and he was lost. The rain had ruined her carefully curled hair and her liner was running a little in the corners of her eyes, but he still wanted to take her in his arms and forget that the last two year apart had ever happened.

The only thing that stopped him was the ring on Jane’s finger. It caught the light as she brought her hand up to brush against his own: She was taken, and he had no one to blame but himself. Needing distance from her before he did something stupid, A.J. walked several feet away and leaned against the railing.

“Why did you come out in the rain?” He didn’t want to assume her intention, and he absolutely refused to let himself hope that she’d come for him. With a fiancé like Peter, there was no reason for her to care about him at all.

“I thought you’d left,” she nearly whispered. Her fear seeped into her words, but she hoped he hadn’t heard it. It was hard to think of what would have happened if she hadn’t found him out here; it probably wouldn’t have been a pretty sight. Until she’d seen him again earlier, she hadn’t realized how much the past years wore on her. If he’d left without another word, without giving her a chance to explain…

“I just needed to get away for a minute. There’s quite a crowd inside.” That wasn’t the only, or most prevalent reason, but that’s all she needed to know. Jane gave him her usual half smile, the one that flashed her signature dimple, and just nodded in understanding.

“They can be quite overwhelming.” When a small get together consisted of nearly sixty people, things could get chaotic in a hurry. “I still haven’t gotten the hang of it, and I don’t think I’ll ever possess Rosemary’s… _charm_.” If she ever turned into Rosemary, Jane was sure she’d beg Peter to put her out of her misery. It wasn’t a hard life that made Rosemary into the shrew she was today; she had made her choices and now the rest of them were suffering for it. Of course Jane knew all the dark family secrets, but they weren’t an excuse to oppress the younger generations.

“I should hope not. She comes off as kind of a jerk.” Yes she was his friend and coworker’s mother, but the woman needed a lesson in manners. In a way, she reminded him of his own mother.

“That’s the understatement of the year.” This was not the first time this scenario had played out. Every time Rosemary was with a group other than family, she usually found a way to bring Emelia up and bash her. It didn’t matter that she was a Harcourt, or that she only had a few black marks on her record; to Rosemary, Emelia was spoiled goods, and everyone should know it.

“Is she like that to you?” Concern was evident in his voice, he made no attempt to hide it because it was genuine. Even the thought of her being treated like that set his teeth on edge.

“Rosemary can be…abrasive sometimes, but no, she hasn’t treated me like she treats Emelia.” Jane-Anne, in Rosemary’s eyes, was everything Emelia was not, and so everything Peter needed in a wife. It was practically medieval the way she thought she could control her son and his life, but it was Peter’s choice to listen to her, or at least it should have been.

“What has Emelia done to bring down the wrath of Mrs. Grace?” Where did she start?

“Emelia isn’t as perfect as Rosemary wants her to be,” she sighed. Part of her thought that God himself wouldn’t live up to Rosemary Grace’s expectations. “Had a couple run ins with the cops in her early teens. Graffiti, trespassing, breaking curfew, and I think she got caught joyriding once. Emelia’s dad is the chief of police, so he tried to keep it quiet, but word spreads like wildfire in high society. As soon as Rosemary found out about all that, she gave their relationship the ax.” By that point, Jane was already friends with Peter and Emelia, and she was aware of the whole situation. There was no doubt in her mind that she’d never forget the day Emelia came to her sobbing her heart out after she’d broken up with Peter.

“That sounds ridiculous.” And it completely was. It had taken Jane several hours to finally calm her down enough to get the full story, but once she had, she was shocked. To hear Emelia retell the verbal lashing she’d received from Rosemary was painful, and worse was seeing the broken look on her face as she recounted every horrible thing she’d been called. Seeds of resentment were sown deep that day, and Jane had resolved to never meet the notorious Mrs. Grace; that was until Emelia had come to her a few days later with the plan to marry Peter.

“Unless you robbed a bank in the last two years, I’m assuming your record is still spotless.” He’d known how much of a goody-two-shoes she’d been back then, and she could admit that he was right, nothing had changed.

“Not so much as a speeding ticket.” A.J. watched as her smile faded a bit, losing some of its spark. Even as closed off as she’d been when they’d first met, he had been able to see how scared she was to break away from the norm, and how she was terrified to be anything other than what she thought was perfect. It was still a mystery as to why she’d been that way, whether it was from growing up being taught that or her own drive for perfectionism, but he’d seen her change. It had been so beautiful to see, like the clichéd flower blooming or butterfly emerging from its cocoon; it had started small with her cracking more jokes, finding her sense of humor, and it just progressed from there.

Acting class had really brought her into herself, until she was that lively butterfly flitting around like she had no worry in the world. She sang in hallways and danced across the courtyard of the college, a sight to behold. Seeing her now, demure and vaguely lifeless, brought a pang of sadness to his heart. Where was his little dancing imp, and what had brought her to this place?

“How are Ginger and Ginseng?” Maybe if he kept the conversation light, he could bring her smile back.

“You remembered the names of my cats?” That touched her heart probably more than anything else he could have said; that he remembered something as mundane as that was incredible.

“Of course I remembered those fluff balls. I had to lint roll you how many times in theater?” Sure enough, her dimpled smile came back, bright and full, broken only when she began to laugh.

“Too many times! Tabby cats and black stagehand clothes don’t mix well.” She’d lost track of how many times they would be getting ready for a show and her clothes were entirely covered in white and orange hair. A.J. had bought lint rollers and stuck them everywhere so that she always had one handy. He had always been doing little kind things like that; bringing her coffee before an early lecture, offering to compare note with her in case they’d missed something, staying up late to study with her after she got off work. After he had left, she often wondered if she had mistaken that kindness as affection.

“They are trouble as always. What about you? Do you still have Ash?” Whenever she would go to his house for their study sessions, she would spent hours snuggled up with his grey Maine Coon, whose size reminded her more of a dog than anything. Those had been happy times for her, sitting on his broken in leather couch, Ash spread across her lap as they tried their best to study for their shared classes. Most nights, they’d call it quits after a few hours and then order a pizza while decompressing with some anime.

“Yes, yes I do. He still seems to think that he owns the place.” Jane recalled the first time she’d tried to push him off his lap before he was ready, and it sent a fit of giggles through her. Ash had looked at her like how dare she move him without his consent, and after that, she just let his do what he wanted. Of course her compliance was rewarded with his heavy purrs and being allowed to stroke his head.

“Ash isn’t much of a fan of Colorado. Too many birds outside that he can’t chase.” Not enough company to entertain him either. When A.J. had taken him back east, Ash would sit at the door, waiting for Jane to come in and love on him. He had hoped that Ash would stop, and after a few months passed, he did, but every now and then Ash would still walk over to the door and wait for her. It tore him up when he saw that, but he was too much of a coward to do anything about it at the time.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t bust through a window yet. He’s massive enough to make it work.” Eighteen pounds and over two feet of cat could do a lot of damage.

“It’s not for lack of trying I’ll tell you that. I can’t open the windows more than an inch without him trying to make a run for it.” Jane could see it so perfectly in her mind that she just burst out laughing; the deep belly laugh felt so good after all these years, and A.J. couldn’t help but get sucked in. They laughed until they were both gripping their sides. Her muscles strained from disuse, but it was a sweet sort of pain. When they began to settle down, Jane managed to lock eyes with him. God, she’s missed looking into their clear blue depths. All the mirth faded away, leaving the sharp edge of sadness between them. 

“I tried to text you. It was a couple months after you left. I just thought you were ignoring me. I figured you’d found someone.” It had taken all her courage to text him; she’s hit send and waited, phone clutched to her chest, for a response that never came.

“I wasn’t, and I didn’t.” That was a day he remembered vividly. “I was with my dad at the lake, and when I got your text…I ended up dropping my phone in the water.” He’d seen her name on his screen, and he’d gotten so excited that he started to shake. When he tried unlocking his phone, he fumbled it and never saw the damn thing again. “I had to get a new phone, and when I tried texting your number, it said it was out of service.”

“I was texting from my new number.” If he hadn’t dropped his phone, they could have rebuilt things? A.J. wanted to kick himself. Even if she hadn’t wanted him like he wanted her, he could have kept her friendship if he hadn’t made one stupid mistake. 

“Oh. That would explain it.” Bitter notes pierced his words. Life was brutally unfair sometimes. “Things seem to have worked out for you though; Pete’s a great guy. Are you happy?” Damn, it was killing him to ask her that. He wanted to flat out ask what would have happened if he hadn’t lost his phone, what her relationship with Peter was like if she didn’t even want him touching her, what he meant to her. It wasn’t his place to be asking, but when he could still feel the tingle of her touch on his skin, he felt like he might have had the right. 

“Oh yes, of course,” Jane rushed to answer, the words coming automatically. That was the rule wasn’t it, never admit that things are less than perfect? No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop her face from crumbling under her lie. She turned her face away quickly so that A.J. wouldn’t see her cry. If there was one thing she hated, it was crying in front of people; no one needed to see how weak she really was.

“Janie?” The whisper-soft tone of his voice, so gentle and worried, broke the dam that was holding back her tears. Jane’s whole body was wracked with horrible sobs that came from somewhere deep inside her, a place that likely hadn’t been reached since she was much younger. Every tear she would have cried over losing A.J. for years, being the victim of her mother’s coldness, being trapped under Rosemary’s censure, spilled out of her in ugly, choking cries. There was so much stuck inside her that appeared to be coming up, she could almost see it in her mind; her mother throwing her hands up in anger every time Jane refused to hug strangers she was introduced to, Rosemary berating her for not dressing properly, all the gossiping women who judged her for every misstep she took, the last time she’d seen A.J. when he said he’d see her later...

Breathing was close to impossible between her cries, and she feared she might pass out for the second time that day. How had she lived with all this pain inside her? She wanted to find a hole to crawl into and just disappear from all of this.

Through the fog in floating around in her head, she could feel the faintest touch against her shoulder. A.J... He hadn’t grabbed her like her mother would have, or yelled at her like Rosemary might have; he simply grazed his fingertips across her skin like question, an offer of support. For the first time in her life, Jane took that offer.

She threw herself against him, not knowing what to hope for or expect. His arms came around her and her body pressed to his, it felt right. His warmth saturated through her wet clothes and lulled her with its gentle heat. Past her crying and the wet clothes and the cold air, Jane could feel _him_ ; just A.J., strong and sure. He felt like home.

“A.J..” It was like a dream to her. A dream come true in the midst of her own personal nightmare. She looked up, needing to see his face to confirm that she wasn’t imagining this. There he was, watching her with worry painted all over his face. His was a face that was etched in her mind, forever engraved in her memory; so dear to her that she missed it every day she hadn’t seen it. “A.J..” Her voice was easily drowned out by the rain, but he could see the way his name played across her lips. Like a caress that he was dying to feel. She lifted her face without a second thought, by instinct or intuition she wasn’t sure, but that motion drew A.J. in as well.

They inched closer and closer, centimeter by centimeter, millimeter by millimeter, until there was a hair’s breadth separating them. Years of raging need, suppressed for far too long exploded inside of her, driving her to close that final distance, taking what she so desperately wanted.

Time itself froze still. Nothing else mattered anymore except the electric feeling of his lips on hers, moving slow and sweet as molasses. _This_ is what she’d been missing all those years that her phobia had held her back. In her heart she knew that no one else would have sufficed to show her this strange, beautiful, thrilling thing but A.J..

The two moved together like they’d been doing this forever, like they were meant to be this way. Jane threw her arms around his neck, reveling in how good _he_ felt against her. No one else had ever made her want this the way he did, and perhaps that was why after the time and distance that had been between them, she still loved him.

“Janie.” It came out as a groan against her lips, causing a new sensation as it vibrated into her. Every moment was burning into their memory and it was bright and shining like a beacon signaling that they were forever changed.

As swiftly as the ecstasy of it came, it was doused when she caught sight of her ring. Peter’s ring. Sitting prettily on her left hand indicating that she was promised to him.

She broke away and instantly missing his feeling and warmth. What was happening here?

“I made a promise to Peter.” Their marriage was the only way for Peter and Emelia to have a life together, so how could she so selfishly do this? “Damn it I’m supposed to be getting married. Rosemary has us looking at houses and everything.” She felt like she was going mad. Her obligations to Peter and her love for A.J. tearing her apart. “Why now?” Jane pleaded to no one in particular. “Why is everything so complicated?!” There was no way she could back out of her deal with them, but she had only agreed when that was her only option to have her own family. A loveless sham marriage for the children she wanted was no longer enough for her; not when she could feel her heart beating again, but she was trapped.

A.J. stood stone still, seeing her coming apart again, feeling responsible. Why couldn’t he have just left her alone like he had planned to? She was Peter’s and no matter how her kiss had made him feel, she would never be his. He reached out to her, but drew his hand away because he couldn’t trust himself not to hold her again.

“I’m sorry Jane-Anne. I’ll uncomplicate it for you.” It was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life, walking away from her for the second time, for the last time, but he would do it for her. Even as it crushed him into pieces, he knew this was the most right thing he’d ever done in his life. His legs were made of lead, each step taking everything he had. “Goodbye.” With that one word echoing in the cavernous space between them, he was gone into the cold and rain.

Jane could only stand there with a hand pressed to the hole where her heart had been alight just minutes ago. Beneath her palms she could almost feel the emptiness there, but she would do the right thing and keep her word to Peter and Emelia. Her tears came again, gripping her hard and fast, bring her to her knees, broken and raw. Jane clamped her other hand to her mouth to keep from screaming while she mourned the loss of what could have been.

The rain continued to fall, and the world kept spinning even as hers was shattered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta reader also cried! 
> 
> And he saw her name even though she was texting from a new number because her text said, “Hello, this is Jane-Anne Cody.”


	6. When It Rains, It Pours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we’ve finally reached the tipping point.

* * *

* * *

Jane couldn’t even guess how much time had passed by while she’d cried herself dry under the gazebo. The rain still trickled, not quite the downpour from earlier, but enough to keep the air cold.

Once her tears had finally run out, she remained on the floor, staring hopelessly at her hands in her lap. They were pale and just a little wrinkled, the tips turned a light shade of blue, and they shook hard. Whether it was from the cold or her emotions she couldn’t say, but they ached dully, reminding of her pain inside. She didn’t want to move from this spot, no matter how cold or awful she felt. In no way was she ready for her life to resume like nothing had happened, like her whole life hadn’t just been irrevocably changed for the worse.

How had she just sat by and watched as he left? How could she have possibly gone after him? All her bitterness felt heavy in her stomach, almost metallic on her tongue. Sitting there, she burned to get out all the things she’d wanted to say to A.J.. Why couldn’t she bring herself to say them when she’d had the chance?

_Wait, don’t go. I love you. My life has been horrible without you. Choose to stay with me this time._ Jane would have begged him to stay with her if she could have managed the words. If she could push past the guilt of betraying Peter and Emelia who were counting on her. But she couldn’t and hadn’t done it; no matter what, she’d given her word, and she wouldn’t break it, even if it broke her.

The sound of gravel crunching on the drive told her that the guests had finally begun to leave, and that soothed her a bit; at least she wouldn’t have to face the whole party like this. Oh hell, she had to have looked like death, so the fewer people who saw her, the better. Jane watched the raindrops soak the grass, the trees, the furniture. It wouldn’t stop for her though, the world wouldn’t stop for her, not matter how much she wished for it. Life was going to move on someway, and at that moment, Jane couldn’t fathom how.

Long after the sound of the last car leaving had faded away, Jane managed to drag herself to the railing, using it to try and pull herself onto her pained legs. Before she could manage it, her damn heels slipped on the slick wood, sending her crashing back down. Pain exploded within her when her knees cracked on the wood.

“Damn it!” Jane slammed a fist into the railing, instantly regretting it when she was greeted with more pain. It seemed impossible that this day could get any worse.

Death trap really was a good description for those things Jane thought, undoing the straps and ripping them off her feet. It briefly crossed her mind to throw her shoes as far away from her as she could manage, but she might need them later.

Standing up, all her aches and pains flared, reminding her that it wasn’t just her heart that was battered and bruised. If she didn’t feel like hell already, she would be by tomorrow when the bruises settled in. With as much of her shredded dignity as she could scrape up, Jane limped back to the house, slipping through the French doors, desperately hoping to go unnoticed.

“How nice of you to join us Miss Cody.” Oh lord she was too drained for this. Rosemary was standing over Peter who sat in the easy chair, her parents were sitting on the couch, and Craig and Emelia stood closest to her. Veronica and Rosemary glared at her with identical looks of disappointment. What the hell happened when she was gone?

“How could you let something like this happen Jane-Anne?” Richard tried to hold his wife back, but Veronica pushed his hands away and advanced on Jane. Panic overcame Jane and froze her helplessly in place as she was grabbed by the arm for the second time that day. The feeling of nails digging into her sensitive skin brought on the usual trembling, roiling Jane’s fragile stomach.

“What are you talking about?” She managed to choke out, her entire being focused on the nails. Their sharp pain chased away any of A.J.’s warmth that lingered, leaving her ice cold and empty. New heat took it place, not soft and sweet like the velvet feel of A.J., but white-hot and dangerous like the spark before an explosion.

“Veronica, that’s enough,” Richard warned in a low tone, and normally that would have been enough to persuade her to stop what she was doing, but not now.

“Peter and Emelia were caught together in his room, kissing and lord knows what else. Thank God it was Rosemary who found them, and not one of the guests.” There was genuine fear in her mother’s eyes as she spoke, like the scandal would have ended the world if it got out. That cracked something open in Jane, gasoline on the flame that was her pain.

Laughter broke free from her. It felt sickening and out of place, ripping pieces of her apart as it came out, but she couldn’t help it. It’s eerie, haunting melody echoed off the tile floors in the otherwise silent room making everyone shift uncomfortably. Her gut twisted, the sound of it wringing her out like a wet towel. The force of her laughter had her grabbing her sides as they cramped tightly like cinches. 

“This is no laughing matter.” Rosemary hissed, anger blotching red across her face. That interruption gave Jane enough of a pause to draw her breath, and gather herself a bit. All the stress and agony of the day was coming up like that wild laughter, threatening to spill over. Jane wrenched her arm away from her mother’s grasp and leveled a deathly calm look on Rosemary. She knew that once everything came out that there would be no going back, but this had gone on too long. Peter and Emelia sent her pleading looks that went unheeded. Things were about to get ugly.

“Oh really? Why is that?” The thick undercurrent of her anger seeped into each word, growing stronger to fuel Jane’s boldness. “Because there’s not a crowd of people to see you embarrass your son and Emelia? Would that make it better, if all your friends were here to see how great you are, shaming two people who care about each other?” It terrified her to feel the hatred pouring out of her, but after year and years of bottling everything up inside, it was long overdue.

“You were supposed to keep them away from each other.” Veronica snapped at her, gaining a nod of approval from Rosemary. Peter’s face was a storm of fear and concern and horror as he was watching this scene unfold. He tried to go to Jane, to maybe keep her from totally unraveling, but his mother gripped his shoulder tight and forced him back down in his chair.

“Why? Because her Royal Highness, Rosemary Grace doesn’t like Emelia?” The anger within was cackling again like some inner demon wanting to come out and play. “Did I miss the part where someone died and made her God?” Nice, sweet, uncomplicated Jane had slipped away, buried in anger and grief and everything that she’d suppressed for too long.

“Maybe if you were woman enough for Peter, you could have managed it.” Jane expected Rosemary’s words to cut her deep; After all, wasn’t it her biggest fear, that she wasn’t enough? They glanced off harmlessly. That terrifying anger had given her an armor like diamond, and Jane feared that she wouldn’t be able to stop herself if Rosemary wanted to play this game with her.

“And maybe you’re right. Maybe if I was perfect like you, I would have been enough, but I wasn’t.” True enough. She hadn’t been perfect for Peter. “Perhaps if Emelia was perfect like you, you would have been more than happy to welcome her into the prestigious Grace family, but no one’s quite as perfect as you are, are they Rosemary?” For once in the whole duration of this charade, Rosemary began to squirm under someone else’s examination, and that was a sweet victory; finally someone was giving her a taste of her own medicine. Jane could see Rosemary shaping her up to see how far she’d really go, but there was no stopping now.

“You are, aren’t you? So damn perfect that Nancy herself couldn’t find anything wrong with you.” Her lips curled into a terrible smile. “Or did she?” It was her turn to step into forbidden territory, somewhere she’d never dared cross into. Emelia and Peter watched on, dismayed by the sight of Jane soaked to the bone and obviously suffering through something, but also morbidly curious to see how this would play out.

“Watch your tongue young lady!” From the corner of her eyes, Jane could see her mother’s hand striking out again to grab her, but she moved faster and slapped it away.

“Touch me like that again and see what happens,” Jane countered, barely keeping the rage inside tethered. It was a threat as well as a promise, and for once, Veronica backed down from her daughter. Moving closer to Rosemary, Jane dropped her shoes and they clattered to the floor, forgotten in the chaos. She broke her stare for only a moment to take in the faces of those around her who were all stuck in this damn melodrama because of Rosemary’s delusions of grandeur.

“From the way I hear it, Nancy never cared for you either. She thought you only wanted to marry into the family fortune, so she ordered Craig to kick you to the curb. That was, of course, until she found out you were in the family way.” The Grace family secret, that dried out skeleton in the back of the proverbial closet was now laid out for all to see. From the shocked and confused looks on their faces, no one else had put two and to together. It had taken her a while to figure everything out, but she’d thought that surely everyone else here would have known as well.

“It took me some time to understand why you’d demanded that I get on birth control when Peter told you we were together, and why you count my pills every time we come over. You wanted to make sure that I couldn’t do what you did.” There was no need to go further. The implication was more than enough to drive her point home. High and mighty Rosemary had gotten herself pregnant to force Nancy to allow Craig to marry her. Now everyone there knew the all-important secret letting her knock Rosemary down a peg, Jane expected to feel different; her victory was hollow, and she still was left feeling aching and empty.

“At least I loved Craig, which is more than you can say about Peter.” It was becoming evident that Rosemary was not about to drop the argument; she’d been so used to people giving in to her demands, she wasn’t prepared to give up without a fight.

“You’re right, I don’t love Peter. He’s my friend and I admire him, but no, I’ve never loved him.” That piece of truth felt like salve on her wounded heart. “But Emelia does.” Jane saw Emelia’s eyes go wide, hearing the truth be voiced before all. No time like the present to get it all out there.

“Of _course_ she does.” All eyes turned now to Veronica, whose sarcastic tone caused most of them to scowl. “Who wouldn’t love a man who has more money than she’ll ever see in her life?” Immediately Peter shot out of his chair, narrowly escaping Rosemary’s clutches, and pushed himself between Jane and her mother.

“I’ve heard just about enough from you,” he snarled, hands going to fists at his sides. “Emelia has never done anything to deserve what she’s gotten from my family, and you have no right to say things like that about her.” Emelia was touched by his defense and came to his side, needing his strength. “And besides, isn’t that exactly what you wanted for Jane? A man with more than enough money to take care of her?” The facts looked ugly when dragged into the light, but that didn’t change them. Veronica was guilty as charged, on all accounts.

“Every mother wants her daughter taken care of, and at least Jane deserves it more than Emelia.” Now it was Emelia’s turn to jump into the ring, squaring off against Veronica. From behind, Jane could read the fury building on Emelia’s normally calm face.

“And what the hell do you know about it? If it weren’t for Jane you wouldn’t even be here right now!” Veronica balked, cut deep by the fact that Emelia was right. If it weren’t for Jane-Anne, Veronica would never have gotten into the social circle of the Grace family.

“You know just what she’s taking about: What have you ever done to make your family proud?” Coming to Veronica’s aid, Rosemary joined in the small circle of fighters, leaving Richard and Craig where they were, strangely quiet in all of this. “I’m surprised your sisters have turned out as well as they have, with you for an influence.” She just couldn’t resist riling Emelia up, never had been, but she wasn’t ready for Emelia to counter.

“Leave Willow and Victoria out of this! They’re better off having me for a sister than Peter is having you for a mother.” Fumes of anger were radiating from Em, her slender figure buzzing with unaccustomed feelings. They all stood toe to toe, glares in every direction, wondering who would come out on top of this train wreck.

“I’d say she’s got more to be proud of than you. She’s been suffering for eight months because she thought it would make Peter happy.” The low rumble of Jane’s voice caused everyone to stop in their tracks. Even though her own anger was starting to fade slowly, she needed to get everything out once and for all. “Did you ever consider that Emelia is what makes him happy? Did you even think of that when you threatened to disinherit and disown him if he didn’t give her up?” What kind of mother did that to her own son?

“Is that true Rosy?” Craig’s face, unreadable until that moment, was a mask of hurt and rage. “Did you threaten our son?” He’d known that she’d had something to do with ending their son’s relationship, but he never imagined she’d go this far.

“How could you not know?” Jane couldn’t fathom how it would be possible that Craig didn’t know. How in the world did _she_ know more about his family life than he did? With her ankle throbbing, Jane finally had to back down from the circle to sit on the arm of the couch. What sort of mess had they all gotten themselves into?

“Her threats worked. We were broken up publicly.” Emelia looked close to tears yet again, but she was comforted as she leaned against Peter. “Why couldn’t you have just left me alone, Rosemary? Was it really necessary to invite me here to rub their engagement in my face? To slander me in front of all your friends?” Her words came out softly; a plea from a broken place within her. When her father had told her she was invited to the garden party, she hadn’t planned on showing up. Emelia only changed her mind so that Rosemary wouldn’t get any satisfaction from scaring her away. That plan had seriously backfired on her.

“She didn’t invite you,” Craig stated flatly. “I did.” The room grew so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop. They all stood still as stone wearing the same dumbstruck look on their faces; everyone but Richard.

“We both thought it was time to clear up all this nonsense, so Craig invited Miss Emelia here to get the ball rolling.” While he wasn’t sure exactly what had been happening in the last eight months, Richard had a fairly decent idea of the situation and the players involved. To say that he expected this much would have been a far stretch though. He and Craig hadn’t wanted any part in this, but sometimes you had to do what was needed to make your kid happy, and anyone could see that these kids weren’t happy at all.

“Richard, how could you do that to Jane-Anne?” Hadn’t Veronica worked diligently to make sure Jane would have a decent future? They were all tearing apart everything she had sought to build, and she wasn’t going to take it. “Jane-Anne, you had better make this right!” Once again, Veronica turned on Jane, reaching out to seize hold of her. Before she could get her hands on her daughter, Richard grabbed her arm and hauled her none too gently next to him.

“Don’t even think about it.” In twenty-two years, Jane had never seen her father treat her mother with anything other than kindness, but she could see the whitening of his knuckles as he gripped her mother. How has everything come down to this? What did any of them do to deserve any of this?

“Richard, I think it’s best if we take our wives elsewhere and let these kids finish sorting things out for themselves.” With Rosemary in tow, Craig started heading for the stairs to begin a new conversation of his own. Richard gave him a curt nod before guiding Veronica out to their car without another word to anyone.

Jane, Peter, and Emelia remained where they were, reeling from the storm of the last few minutes. Minutes… That’s all it had taken to shatter every rose-colored glass that they’d tried to create.

“Hey Pete!” His father’s voice from up the stairs drew him over. Craig stood at the top, apologies pouring from his eyes as he looked at his son. “I’m sorry that your mother put you through all of that, and I know no amount of apologizing can give you that time back, but know this: I never would have let her do that to you.” He came back down and wrapped Peter’s tall frame in a hug. “You’ll always be my boy Peter.” Peter had never been one for sappy emotions, but he’d be lying if he said that didn’t pull on his heartstrings. For a moment he felt like a little boy again, hugging his father when something had hurt him. When Craig finally turned him lose, they looked back to the two girls waiting.

“Thank you dad, that means a lot.” Just as he’d done when Peter was a kid, Craig ruffled his hair until it stuck out every which way.

“I know you’ll make the right choice.” With those final words of wisdom, Craig finally went back up the stair to deal with his wife.

Peter breathed in deeply for the first time since this mess started. Emelia and Jane, his lover and his fake fiancé kept their eyes on him, both unmoving as they seemed to wait for him. Time slowed down for just a moment, letting him get a nice long look at the two of them. Jane’s curled hair had been ruined by the rain, its bouncy vitality washed away, and that sentiment held true to the rest of her as well; something had happened to her after his mother had pulled the stunt announcing their engagement. She looked like someone had sucked the life right out of her, leaving her an empty shell of herself. Emelia looked no worse for wear either, stress and anxiety making her pale and drawn. At any moment a stiff wind could knock her over with how fragile she looked.

It was like he had approached a fork in his path and was staring at the two. One side led to the approval of his mother, his assured future, and potential misery, the other led to uncertainty, great change, and love. When he moved again, he ran to Emelia, to scoop her into his arms in a much needed hug. He couldn’t give up what they had, the love they shared.

Jane looked away from the touching scene, unable to stomach the sight of the lovers embracing. She was happy for them that they were finally allowed out of the shadows, but that happiness was eclipsed by her despair.

“Jane? What’s happened?” Knowing she hated to be touched, Emelia didn’t know what to do to comfort her. With her sisters, she would draw them into a bear hug and hush them until they were ready to talk; that would probably have the opposite effect in this situation.

“I’m-. I’m sorry.” Her lips trembled. She was shaking from the effort she was making not to start crying again. “For everything.” For agreeing to the plan, for being selfish enough to think it could work, for completely ripping the whole plan apart. The tears threatening to spill over began to trickle their way down her ashen face in spite of her efforts. Why couldn’t they just stop?

Jane forced herself to look at Peter and Emelia embracing, forced herself to ignore the blade of jealousy twisting in her gut and admit to herself that this was how things were meant to be. It had been foolish of her to think that she would have fit into this picture; they belonged together, and she didn’t belong here. Numbness in her fingers made it difficult, but after a few attempts she succeeded in pulling his ring off her finger. The symbol of all they’d planned no longer had a place with her. She set it down on the arm of the couch when she stood, taking one last moment to say goodbye to the life it represented.

With nothing left for her there, Jane picked up her shoes, grabbed her purse, and rushed from the house as quickly as she could manage it. There was no going back, but what the hell did she have to move on to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was so hard to put my characters through all this, but it needed to happen.


	7. Eye of the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several long awaited conversations happening here.

Jane-Anne almost peeled out of the Grace’s drive in her haste to get far away from there. Cursing the early darkness of the autumn night, she flicked on the lights, hating how claustrophobic she felt.

Every sensory input felt like too much in her loneliness; the swish of the windshield wipers was deafening, the grit of the sand between her bare foot and the pedal felt like shards of glass, the faint hint of her perfume doused by rainwater threatened to suffocate her. Where was she even going? Being alone at the moment was killing her, so home was not a good option, but the only company she could usually find was with Peter and Emelia; they didn’t need her third wheeling.

She tears were rolling back in like high tide, burning her already raw eyes. The hurt and sadness within was demanding to be felt, even on the outside. Where was there to go? Who could understand what she needed when she herself couldn’t?

The back roads of her hometown were empty, no one venturing out in the rain. All she could do was drive through the puddles and sink further into her own thoughts. So young and she’d already completely shot her chances for her family she’d dreamed of. When she was a young girl and her mother had begun to show her disinterest in bonding with her, Jane had decided that she wanted to have children of her own, children she would love unconditionally, and who would love her. Growing older, realizing that she didn’t feel romantic love for the boys she dealt with all the time, had only drove home her desire to have a family that she could love. The snag was, to have a baby without spending a fortune she would need to sleep with someone, and she couldn’t bring herself to do that.

That’s when Peter and Emelia came along, offering to give her what she wanted if she would get married. Everything had been perfect…until tonight. Pete and Em were in love with each other, and would be forever, so it was only fair to find a way to set them free, even if that left her alone. It wasn’t even feasible to ask Peter to go through with his part of the bargain now; no matter how they were conceived, if she had married Peter, their children would have had a mother and a father, but she couldn’t do it on her own. She wasn’t selfish enough to bring a child into the world knowing full well it wouldn’t have a father and she would struggle financially trying to take care of it.

So here she was, damp, miserable, and completely alone, trying to scrape together a plan for her empty future. No children to look forward to, no bright and shining light at the end of this bleak tunnel. Her fingers had grown painfully stiff from the cold, so she turned the heater on full blast, hoping it could reach the chill that had settled deep in her bones.

Jane sniffed the air, scenting something warm and familiar that sent tendrils of heat through her. Each passing moment, it grew stronger until it struck her: The heater had stirred up the smell of A.J. from his jacket that she still had on. Her gasp was lost as she rubbed her cheek against her jacketed shoulder, savoring her last link to him. Lost, was the best way she could describe what she felt; lost in the confusion of the comfort his scent gave her and the painful reminder it was.

Emelia had Peter, but Jane had no one, and the child in her wanted to throw a tantrum over how unfair it was. A.J. was the only person who she’d ever loved, who made her crave touch, who made her feel alive, so why couldn’t she have him?

Jane pulled off to the shoulder of the road, her brain on fire from the epiphany she’d just had. Now that Peter and Emelia were now free to be together, Jane was no longer bound by her promise to them. Nothing to hold her back from pursuing A.J..

Nothing but her crippling fear that he wouldn’t want her. It would just kill her if she found him again only to have him tell her that she’d been wrong, that he didn’t care about her like she cared for him. Yes, he’d allowed her to kiss him, but had she just imagined him kissing her back? He had been the one to walk away again, and at least this time he’d said goodbye. Maybe she should just leave everything alone on that note; at least there had been some sense of closure. Who knew if she could still have that if she went to him now?

Her head was starting to ache something fierce from overthinking everything, so she grabbed her phone and dialed the only person she could trust.

“Hello?” The voice sounded sleepy, and Jane felt guilty remember the time difference.

“I’m sorry Ursie, were you asleep?” Jane felt like hanging up so that she didn’t bug her sister, but she forced herself to stay on the line.

“No, I was just laying down with Jake.” The thought of her nephew brought a little smile to her lips while she could hear Ursula getting up. A door clicked shut on the other end of the phone, and her sister was back. “Where are you? I thought you had your engagement party tonight?” For once, Jane regretted not telling her sister about all of this. There was too much to relay, and she needed advice right now.

“I’m sitting in my car somewhere.” Damn it, she was crying again, and she couldn’t muffle it well enough to hide it from Ursula.

“Jane, honey what’s going on?” Jane knew Ursula well enough to hear the genuine concern lying beneath her calm tone. Even as kids, Jane had rarely cried in front of anyone, choosing instead to wait until she was alone. She couldn’t have stopped now if she tried.

“I-. I need you to stop me from doing something stupid.” She desperately needed Ursula to stop her from running to A.J. and making a fool of herself. There was no way he’d be interested in taking her on when she was such an unholy mess.

“Sweetheart, what are you taking about?” And it all came out, word vomit at its finest. All the way back to when she and A.J. first met, Jane told the long sordid tale. Poor Ursula just listened as Jane retold every detail of how he’d left, how Emelia and Peter had offered her the deal, and everything that had happen that night. Nearly half an hour passed before she was done. By that point, Jane was breathless from speaking so much. Over the phone, her sister was very quiet as she processed the information she’d had dumped on her.

So much had happened in the last few years that Jane had kept secret. Looking back, she shouldn’t have. The weight of all this mess was too much for her to shoulder alone; she should have trusted Ursie sooner.

“How am I just now hearing about all this?” That was a complicated question to answer, but Jane owed it to her.

“I didn’t want mother to be…mother. I wanted to keep things with A.J. to myself so that she didn’t ruin things like she probably would have.” There were times when Ursula was young that Veronica had been critical of her, but it was nowhere near as bad as it was with Jane-Anne. To Jane, there was a chance Ursula wouldn’t understand her reasoning for keeping him a secret, and persuade her to bring him to meet the family.

“You could have trusted me Jane. If it was that important, you know I would have kept it a secret.” More guilt. Jane leaned her head back against the headrest, taking several deep breaths to calm herself down.

“I know that now.” Five years younger than Ursula, Jane had always looked up to her, envied her for how easy-going she was with people. She had only been thirteen when Ursula had married her high school sweetheart, and it was hard for her to lose only friend when Ursula had moved in with her husband. Just like with Peter and Emelia, she had been inordinately happy that her sister had found love, but Jane couldn’t help being jealous of them all. During the whole thing with A.J., Ursula and her husband were busy moving to Virginia and raising a toddler; her problems seemed insignificant to theirs, so she’d just stayed quiet.

“Did you really kiss A.J. at your engagement party?” A little chuckle came out of Jane, and it felt good in the midst of all the horrible things she was feeling. Of course that’s what Ursula would choose to focus on.

“Yes I did. Just call it heat of the moment.” There had been heat indeed. Her whole body tingled remembering that brief, amazing kiss. Had he actually been kissing her back, or merely letting her do as she pleased? Had his lips moved under hers? The emotions had been running too high for her to remember anything distinctly, but she would always wonder.

“Okay, so what is it you’re wanting me to stop you from doing?” What was Jane asking exactly? On one hand, she desperately wanted to go to A.J. and pray that he would accept her, but on the other hand, her fear told her that she should just leave him alone because she was a mess who had completely botched things with him. All her life she’d lived by fear; its pull was just too strong for her to resist.

“I need you to talk me out of going to A.J.’s house before I make a fool of myself.” No matter what Veronica and Rosemary and even life had thrown at her, up to this point Jane was still standing; battered and bruised, but standing nonetheless. If she had to look into his warm, gentle blue eyes while A.J. told her to leave him alone for good, there would be no way she could come back from that. It was far better for her if she just left him alone and try to pick up the pieces of her life. Jane was a survivor, she would find some way to make something decent for herself. The static from the phone and the sound of the rain tapping on her car filled the silence, making her increasingly uncomfortable. Had her sister heard her?

“I won’t talk you out of it.” The words cut through the silence so suddenly that Jane jumped in her seat. That surprise was quickly overcome with shock. What did she mean? “I love you Jane, but I think you’d be a fool _not_ to go. You’ve let your fear bully you too long, so I think you need to suck it up and brave the unknown. Who knows, things might go much better than you imagine.” Ursula let those words soak in for a minute. Sure she hadn’t been the nicest, but Jane didn’t need to be coddled. Maybe some tough love and a kick in the butt were what Jane needed to take the leap. “Call me in the morning,” she laughed, blowing a kiss and then hanging up.

Jane started at her dark phone screen, debating whether or not that had really just happened? Did Ursie really just hang up on her? Ursula was supposed to be the voice of reason, the barrier that kept her from making poor choices. Jane was hoping that Ursula would agree with her and see that going to A.J.’s house in the middle of the night was in no way a good idea, but Ursula hadn’t agreed with her at all.

Her heart was pounding again, a steady drum rattling the cage of her ribs. The heat was suddenly stifling, and she fumbled to turn it off before she was sick. Anxiety pulsed like needles under her skin. If there was anything in her stomach, she would have been retching out the window, but the little bit of champagne she’d had was long gone, leaving her stomach empty and angry.

What if she went and he wouldn’t even talk to her? Or worse, what happened if he demanded that she explain everything?

Jane-Anne summoned every ounce of courage she had from every nook and cranny on her being, bringing her trembling hand up to start her car once more. She could do this, right? It was only a lifetime of insecurity and two years of loss that she was confronting head on in a move that was completely not her nature. What could possibly go wrong?

Normally, the drive to A.J.’s house had never taken her that long, but she drove slowly now, telling herself it was because of the rain. Dear lord, she was so nervous that her stomach was cramping painfully, but she ignored it as best she could. Ursula was always the reasonable one, so maybe she was right, and things would be fine. Maybe A.J. would agree to rebuild their friendship; if that was the only way he wanted to be in her life, she would take it in a heartbeat.

The porch light was off on the house, which actually belonged to his father, and on the apartment over the garage where A.J. had lived before he left. If it weren’t for his car in the driveway, Jane would have assumed he wasn’t home.

“Just do it,” Jane ordered herself with as much conviction as she could. _Just do it Jane-Anne!_ With a final breath and a good punch on the steering wheel, Jane launched herself out of the car, not bothering with shoes. The stairs up to the apartment were killing her ankle, but she had come too far to chicken out now. Standing before a door she was so used to just walking into, Jane paused for a heartbeat, cursing her hand for shaking so much when she finally was able to knock.

She couldn’t feel the rain showering on her, or the scratchiness of the door mat under her feet; all she could feel was the tight pounding of her heart as she watched the door with a single-minded determination. There was a shuffling behind from inside, and the light finally came on, bathing her in its warm yellow glow. Her breathing had stopped once again, her gut stabbed with the sharp slice of anticipation.

When the door finally opened to her, she was met by the sight of A.J., red eyed and bedraggled in his clothes from earlier, minus the coat that she had around her. They stared wide-eyed at each other, unmoving and unsure what to say. Only when he noticed the rain pouring on her did he merely step aside for her to come in, and she did, moving past him to stand on the laminate flooring of his small kitchen.

It was total silence other than the rain and the soft dripping sound as Jane’s wet clothes made a puddle by her feet. A.J. thought to grab her a towel, but his feet were locked in place and his eyes were glued to her.

“You left this.” Jane took the jacket off her shoulders, holding it out to him even though she was reluctant to do so. He nodded to her, hesitantly taking it from her to set on a hook by the door.

“Was that all you came for?” A.J. was so stunned by her being there to begin with, that he couldn’t possibly understand what brought her. If she was so worried about his jacket, she could have just waited until tomorrow…after the party was over. It wasn’t fair to either of them that the thought of her kiss refused to leave his mind, that he’d spent the last few hours apart remembering each and every little touch they’d shared. He was trying to commit it all to memory since he’d never have that again. Hurt bloomed within him again, because damn it he was trying his best to let her go and she kept showing up, taunting him with what he couldn’t have.

“Well I-. I wanted-. Where’s your dad?” Jane wanted to smack herself for chickening out while she stood before him. _Was that all you came for? No, I came here to figure out once and for all what was between us and what sort of future we could have._ It was so easy to think up the words, to have them on the tip of her tongue only to have them just slip away.

“Oh, he and his new wife are taking their honeymoon.” Peter just so happened to invite A.J. to the engagement party after hearing that he’d be in town anyway to watch his dad’s house.

“Your dad remarried?” Two years ago, it was unheard of for James Casey to even go on a date; he still bore deep wounds from his wife’s infidelity and subsequent divorce. Jane was completely surprised but also begrudgingly happy. Even his dad had found someone.

“Yeah he did. Her name’s Tamera, and she works at the college. Dad wanted to take one of those “old people” classes, and that’s how they met.” James wanted to learn to bake cakes, and he got himself a wife instead. When A.J. had learned about Tammy, he’d been extremely concerned because she was younger than his dad. After everything his mother had put him through, he didn’t want to see the same thing happen.

“I’m happy for him. Tell him I send him my best wishes.” The smile she gave was a wobbly one, but it was genuine.

“I will.” The silence stretched on again, driving them both mad. A.J. eventually moved towards the bathroom, murmuring, “Let me go get you a towel.” With his eyes finally off her, the vice in her chest finally eased just enough for her to gasp out what she’d been longing to ask for years.

“Why did you leave me?” Her strangled voice stopped him in his tracks, but he didn’t come back to her. “Why did you leave me two years ago?” After all of the emotions that had given her mental whiplash all day, she finally felt the odd clarity in the eye of her storm.

“I thought it was best.” He didn’t want to face her again, to have her see in his eyes how much he wanted to fall to his knees and beg her to stay with him. If she didn’t want him, he couldn’t look into her eyes and see her answer there.

“You thought it was best?” The hysterical laughter from earlier threatened to come back up, but the mounting anger she felt held it at bay. “For who A.J.? Who did you think that was best for?” She wanted to throttle him and kiss him and beg him to hold her all at the same time, but they needed to get this out in the open.

“For _both_ of us Jane-Anne!” He hated how tortured he sounded, but he too had bottled up emotions that he’d been storing away for years.

“Look me in the eye _Alfred_ when you tell me why, when I needed you the most, you just up and ran away from me.” She was a mass of pain and anger and loneliness all twisted and warped into one. If there was ever a time that she felt out of control of herself, it would be now. If people were forces of nature, Jane felt like an F-5 tornado, or a tsunami, full of potential danger to whoever stood in her way. By all that was holy, she would finally know what had gone through his head to make him leave her.

When he remained rooted where he stood, Jane wanted to grab him and turn him around, but she stopped herself; she wouldn’t become like her mother. She waited, the anger and anticipation making her face flushed, and just watched his tall figure, taking a small second to appreciate him. Even though she was bordering on being furious with him, she could admit that she still wanted him. When she was about to move in front of him, he turned to her, tears brimming those eyes that she loved so dearly. Hell, she wanted to comfort him, but they both needed this.

“I was scared Janie.” Such a small offering of an explanation. He swallowed hard, facing her like he should have done back then instead of being a coward. “My parents loved each other when they got married; my mom thought my dad was mature and steady, and he thought she was beautiful and lively. It took her six years of marriage to start seeing him as boring instead of mature, predictable instead of steady.” A.J. felt like he did as a child, taking about his parents to his counselor: Heartbroken and lost.

“I don’t understand.” She knew about his parents. They’d spent a lot of their time together talking about their parents and how things were growing up. What did they have to do with her? 

“My mom’s only six years younger than my dad Janie.” What was she not understanding about this? “Instead of doing the right thing and asking him for a divorce, she started cheating on him with her boss. My dad was none the wiser because he loved my mom so much. He didn’t think anything of her working late some nights, or talking so highly of her boss.” It had never crossed his mind that his beloved wife would do anything to hurt him.

“But he found out eventually.” A.J. had told her that his mother’s infidelity had ended their marriage, but she’d assumed James had been the one to file for a divorce.

“Oh yeah he did. Mom broke her right leg slipping on some ice that winter, so dad took her to work the next day. He carried her up two flights of stairs to her office where her boss was waiting for her. She hadn’t gotten the chance to warn him that my dad was taking her to work because my dad hadn’t left her side since her accident.” A gruff sigh came out of him as he rubbed his hands over his face. He’d finish this story no matter how much it hurt him to remember. “When her boss asked what my dad was doing there, dad thought something was off, and that’s when she told him. She flat out told him that she was leaving him for her boss while he was holding her in his arms.” A.J. began to pace around his little living room, unable to hold still with the anxious energy running rampant in his system. “I thought my dad was going to drop her on the ground, but he set her down in her chair, so gently like she was made of glass and told her that they could work it out. She’d just told him that she was having an affair with her boss, and he still wanted to work things out.” Obviously she’d said no since they had divorced anyways. But how did A.J. know all those small details?

“Were you there when it happened?” That thought sank like a boulder to the bottom of her stomach. The sadness in his eyes when he finally looked back at her was crushing.

“Yes I was. Because of a snow day, I had to watch my parent’s marriage fall apart right in front of me.” His shrink had a field day trying to undo all of the knots that day had tied him into, but those efforts hadn’t been a complete success. He had still been feeling the effects of that one day over twenty years later.

“I’m so sorry A.J.” No child should have to witness that, and suddenly Jane hated his mother for putting him through that. It was beginning to dawn on her what he was trying to get at, but she couldn’t assume if she was right or not. “What does all that have to do with us?”

“Damn it Janie, their marriage fell apart because of a six year age gap. That’s four years shorter than ours. I was terrified of turning out just like them. I didn’t want to risk you getting bored of me after a few years and then be stuck loving you for the rest of my life while you found happiness with some other guy.” And that was the ugly truth now. He’d spent the last two years in love with her while she and Peter were planning their life together. All the sacrifices he made desperately trying to avoid his father’s fate, and it happened anyway.

So that was it? All this time and he was afraid of her leaving him. Men could be so dense sometimes…

“Their marriage didn’t fail because of their age A.J., it failed because your mother used that as an excuse to justify her affair.” If Sharron Casey had been faithful, she would have worked her problems out with James, not had an affair. Her infidelity had scarred two men who loved her, because she couldn’t be honest about how she felt. She had let their lives fall apart, and they were still cleaning up the pieces.

A nod of his head was all he could manage. He felt like he’d been put through the ringer to get all that out, and now he was drained. All that was left inside was his desire to draw her close and just hold her.

“When I saw you at the party, I thought I was imagining it. I’ve never forgot you, and after my dad found Tamera, I decided if I ever saw you again I’d tell you all of this; and there you were.” He’d always remember how absolutely beautiful she looked in her cornflower blue dress, her satiny hair perfectly curled, her mouth barely open with surprise. “When I found out you and Peter were engaged, I realized that I was too late. I’m sorry.” Her face contorted, maybe from pain, maybe from sadness, and she shook her head.

“Damn you and damn your sorry A.J..” She couldn’t bring herself to put any anger into her words. They came out as an exasperated laugh, filled with grief.

“I guess I deserve that. From the moment I met you, I knew that you deserved the best that life could offer, but I was too afraid to give it to you. If Peter makes you feel everything you thought you could never feel, if he can give you what you’ve always dreamed of, I’m truly happy for you.” By this point, he was letting his tears flow freely. All he wanted was for her to be happy, even if it wasn’t with him. If there was one thing he learned from his dad, it was that loving someone sometimes meant letting them go. Jane was also crying again for what felt like the millionth time that day. There were probably more tears shed that day than in her whole life, and they kept coming. 

“What would you have done if Peter and I weren’t engaged?” If he’d just seen her as Jane instead of Peter’s fiancé.

“I would have told you that I have regretted leaving you every day what we were apart,” he whispered, his voice soft with emotion. “I would have said that I would give anything for a chance to make things right.” He looked her straight in the eyes then, needing that connection when he finally said, “I would have told you that I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be still my heart! I’ve been plowing through trying to get these chapters out, and I’m so close to the end! There will be one chapter after this as well as an epilogue.


	8. Rainbows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story finally comes to an end.

“She looked awful Peter,” Emelia insisted, worrying her lip between her teeth. They had taken too long talking together and waiting for Craig and Rosemary to finish their conversation when they should have been checking on Jane.

“I know babe. I’ve never seen her like that.” Peter had never seen her express much of anything aside from wit and an inhuman ability to take his mother’s bullshit. Hearing her fight with his mother as well as her own had been shocking to say the least, and he could understand Emelia’s concern for her. Clearly Jane was in a rough spot, and they were really her only friends.

“I feel terrible breaking our promise to her Peter. She did us a huge favor.” Jane had put up with Rosemary, let herself be put under public scrutiny, and agreed to a life full of mere friendship rather than love, all to help them out of their predicament.

“We’ll find her Em, and we’ll find a way to work everything out.” The importance of what Jane had done for them wasn’t lost on him. Peter may not have loved her, but he had a great deal of respect for her, and he owed her for everything she’d been put through. “Any luck getting a call through?” In the heaviest parts of the rain, the signal was poor enough that they couldn’t get a call out, but Emelia had kept trying and her other attempts had failed too.

“It’s at least ringing now, but they’re all going to voicemail.” It was very unlike Jane to not answer her phone, but nothing about the day had been normal. “Maybe she’s at home.” Seeing it as good a place as any to start, Peter set a course to her place.

Emelia felt anxious to find Jane, but that wasn’t the only reason. They had sat down with Rosemary and Craig to discuss everything that had happened in pretty much the last year.

Craig had done most of the talking for himself and his wife, but eventually Rosemary had apologized to both of them for her behavior. No one would ever mistake her grinding tone for sincerity, but it was a start. She tried to explain her reasoning, how she didn’t want Peter taken advantage of, but Craig had stopped her fumbling attempts by telling her they could talk later, when things had settled down.

There was something she needed to tell Peter, but there were still other things to worry about. Peter pulled into Jane’s side of the duplex driveway, immediately aware that the house was empty.

“Maybe she’d parked in the garage?” Even as she said it, Emelia remembered that Jane never parked in the garage since it was full of her storage boxes.

“I don’t like this Em. She’s not home and she’s not answering her phone?” Their friend was practically missing in action, and he was starting to worry that maybe she’d gotten in a wreck somewhere. “I’m going to go knock.” Emelia watched him run out in the rain, knocking as soon as he reached the door. While he waited for a response, Emelia was thinking of other places Jane might have gone. There was no way she had gone back to her parent’s house, and Jane had often said that she had no other friends. Where in the world could she be?

She thought about the party, and who had been there. They’d all been Rosemary’s friends who wouldn’t have any connection to Jane. All but Alfred… Peter had just swung back up into the truck seat when the lightbulb clicked on in her brain.

“She’s not here babe.” Peter grumbled while Emelia excitedly pulled on his sleeve, almost unable to get her words out.

“Alfred!” How had she not thought of it earlier? Something had happened with Jane and Alfred that none of the rest of them knew about. “She was wearing his jacket when she came back inside Peter!” While she hadn’t seen Alfred go outside, he hadn’t said goodbye to Peter before he’d left and Jane was most certainly wearing his coat before the whole fight had broken out. How would she have gotten it unless Alfred had given it to her outside?

“Are you sure?” Remembering how upset Jane-Anne had been when she’d come back in, Peter swore he’d make Al pay if he’d hurt her.

“Yes babe, I’m one hundred percent positive that it was his. Maybe she went to him.” While it wasn’t like Jane at all to chase after random guys, stranger things had happened that night.

“We can check. He said he’s staying at his dad’s house on 18th street. If she’s not there, I think we might need to call the hospital and see if she’s been in an accident.” Emelia agreed quickly, praying Jane wasn’t in any trouble. After they were certain Jane was safe, that’s when Emelia would tell Peter.

000

Jane was speechless. She was dripping wet, cold to the bone, had just heard what she’d only ever dreamed of hearing, and she couldn’t utter a single word. A.J. took her silence as a final answer, so he decided to drive the last nail in the coffin.

“But you are his fiancé, so none of that really matters anymore, does it?” He felt like ten times a fool for laying all of this on her when he knew she would be going back to Peter any moment, but there it was. He’d finally said the words.

She wasn’t moving. Why wasn’t she leaving him? Every second that went by felt like an eternity, as he expected to see her walk out the door, and out of his life once and for all, but still she remained in the same spot. Jane finally lifted her left hand for him to see, and he was lost as to what he was supposed to be seeing. He couldn’t stifle a gasp when he realized it wasn’t something there he was supposed to see, but rather something that wasn’t there; Peter’s ring was gone, the symbol to all the world that Peter would be the man to spend his life with her, was nothing more than a faint tan line on her finger, like distant memory.

“I’m not his, A.J.” Her radiant smile cracked through her pain, a ray of light in the dark night. “I never was. Not truly.” Never had Peter held her heart or her body as A.J. had. At last, the weight fell from her, Atlas free from the weight of the world, and she walked to him. “I can’t fix the past A.J.,” Jane sighed as she came right in front of him. “I can’t go back and tell you that I’m nothing like your mother, and make the last two years go away. But if you still want me, I can be your future.” If he wanted her, she would leave everything behind and move with him to Colorado. Jane would go to the ends of the earth if it meant being with him.

“What-? Janie…” The world tilted on its axis as her words processed in his head. She was never Peter’s? What did that even mean? Jane could practically see the wheels of his brain working overtime, so she took pity on him.

“You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted A.J.. I love you.” Peace had brought a softness to her voice that poured over his strained nerves. “Now if you don’t mind, I’ve waited a long time for this,” she beamed up at him, her eyes searching his. “Will you please touch me?” It was something she’d never asked another person for; she’d never wanted it from anyone else. This was A.J.; the man she loved who’d come home to her at last. She needed his touch to quench the longing in her heart, to finally prove to her that she could love and be loved in return.

A.J. was nervous when he raised one hand up to her arm. He’d wrapped his arms around her when she was crying, and he’d pressed against her on the sofa, but this sort of touch was different. He tips of his fingers tingled with anticipation as he brought them against her soft skin, barely grazing the surface. Yes, this touch wasn’t out of comfort or concern, but curiosity.

Just that little touch had her trembling, but not out of her normal fear. She reveled in the knowledge that she didn’t fear his hands on her, that she eagerly awaited his next move. Up the length of her arms, his fingers swept over her, delicately tracing her elbows, sliding over the curves of her shoulders. A.J. was simply learning the shape of her, unhurried and in wonder.

When he slid over her collarbones, she gave a little shudder, and he paused. She wanted to assure him with words that he hadn’t done anything wrong, that she desperately wanted him to continue, but she couldn’t form the words past her dry tongue. All she could do was nod her assent and pray he understood her meaning. He gave her a smile, one that melted her heart all the more, and brought his hands up her neck. Jane was positive he could feel the rapid staccato rhythm of her pulse there from the way he lingered just at the base on her throat, right at the crook of her neck. His touch on that place set fireworks off behind her eyes, which had drifted shut from the pure pleasure of it all.

While he took his time there, loving the way her breath puffed out in short little bursts when he caressed that particular spot, soon it was time for him to move on and it left her greedy for more. The last stop on his journey was her face. How long had he dreamed of cupping her flushed cheeks in his palms like he did now? How often had he wished to know what she felt like as he simply stroked her with his thumbs as he did now? He sat there for what seemed like forever until she relaxed into his touch reminding him of a kitten nuzzling into affection. Her brown eyes opened to him then, wide and vulnerable, completely trusting and shining with her love for him.

“You’re a miracle Janie.” And he meant that with his whole heart. He would never forget what his parents had gone through, or how it affected him, but he wanted to move past that for her. For the first time, he felt like he could finally give her everything she deserved, and in return she was giving him the most beautiful gift; herself.

“So are you A.J..” Deep in her heart, she knew there could never be anyone for her but him. She was coming to life under his hands in ways she’d only ever dreamed of until now. For as long as she could remember, she’d had a little flame of hope inside her, that one day she might learn how to feel love; not the love of a family or of a friend, but that of a soul mate. It had been such a tiny flame for so long, threatening to go out in her as each year passed, but he’d fed that fire with his mere presence, poured fuel on it with his touch.

While Jane was burning for him already, she couldn’t tell how affected he was by this. If she could have read his mind, she wouldn’t have worried at all because as much as she was on fire for him, he was drowning in her. Need crushed him like the pressure of sinking deeper and deeper into the ocean, but he forced himself to hold back, ever considerate of her boundaries. They went on like that, both dying of need for each other yet holding back, each unsure of how to proceed.

After several more moments of soft touches from A.J, Jane decided to push herself, trying to give back what he’d given to her. Her icy fingers came up to frame his face, letting them roam like she’d always wanted, learning every slope and ridge. They might have been shaking, but not like they used to; not out of fear or apprehension, but out of excitement. No matter what happened, she would always remember this; the tender and innocent exploration of learning each other. His touch would be forever branded into her skin like a phantom sensation just under the surface.

It was Jane who kissed him again when she’d grown bold and adventurous. Kissing was not like it was in the movies. She bumped into his nose by accident before settling over his mouth, and A.J.’s breath puffed across her lips in a small gasp. He hadn’t been expecting her to do that, hell he hadn’t expected her to show up at his door, but here she was in his arms kissing him. As he sank into her kiss, he thought that maybe he was beginning to like the unexpected.

There was no mistaking it this time; A.J. was kissing her back. He brought his arms around her like it was the most natural thing in the world, deepening their embrace. This is what heaven must be like.

As much as she enjoyed this, the sweet dancing of his lips against hers, there was more that she was missing. A flame crept up her face at the fact that she was even contemplating such a thing, but in for a penny in for a pound. Jane drew her hands away from him, and brought them to the back of her dress. Thankfully A.J. was too distracted by their kiss to think too much about what she was doing, but the sound of her zipper being drawn down had him pausing. His brain was thinking a thousand things at once, what was she doing, surely she just wanted to be out of her wet dress, should he go get her a towel? All his thinking was for naught as he watched in wide-eyed fascination while she stepped back and peeled the sodden dress off her shoulders, lower past her chest, down over the flatness of her stomach, and with a final wiggle of her hips it plopped onto the floor in a wet heap.

Jane watched him with her beautiful doe eyes, waiting to see his reaction. No one had seen her this bare since she was a baby, and she felt the strong urge to grab something to cover herself up with, but she suppressed the urge; this was A.J., and this was what she wanted. She lowered her arms down to her sides. There were no more pretenses between them. He was the man she’d waited for and she wasn’t going to wait a moment longer.

“Please.” One word. Just one word to convey what she couldn’t bring herself to explain aloud. _Make love to me. Show me what love feels like._ Nothing had ever seemed more important to her than A.J. understanding just how badly she wanted him. She needn’t have worried whether or not he understood, because he definitely did. He felt the same. As gentle as he always was with her, A.J. came to her and scooped her up like he had earlier, carrying her to his bedroom.

Mindful of her head, he slipped through the door way sideways. He struggled a minute, but was finally able to turn down the sheets before setting her down on the soft bedding. Her normally creamy skin had gone pale with cold, and she looked almost ghostly against the black sheets. The powder blue of her bra and underwear were the only color in front of his eyes. God she was beautiful.

Like Jane, A.J. had no real idea what he was doing. He wrestled with the idea of stripping her down completely or undressing himself. Maybe if he had any sort of experience he wouldn’t be so awkward, but he was also thankful that he didn’t; sharing this with Janie would be a very special thing for the both of them. Jane had nervousness and curiosity burning in her eyes when A.J. decided to remove his clothes first, starting with his shirt. What should have been a swift and confident motion was bungled when his shoulder painfully popped as he tried to pull his button up over his head, and his cheeks flooded with embarrassment as he was forced to pull it back down and undo all the buttons. It would have been a perfect moment to laugh, but Jane’s expression stayed solemn, gaze locked on every button as it fell open under his fumbling hands. The pants were next, and thankfully they came off with out much of a fight, but when he reached for the band of his underwear, her nerves got the better of her and she looked away.

Shying away would have made most men aggravated, but he knew her, knew that this was all very new to her, so he left them on and climbed into bed with her. Cuddling close to her, he realized she was shaking horribly, like she was shivering from the cold, but he knew better.

“Janie, Janie it’s okay.” Softly her crooned against her wet hair, hoping to sooth her. He never should have let her push herself like this. She was nearly vibrating against him, her breathing rapid and shallow, and her pulse like a hummingbird. “We don’t have to do anything sweetheart, I can just hold you.” And he truly meant it. He would never push her for more than she was ready for. If he spent the rest of his life just holding her, he’d spend every night just thanking God she was there by his side. Hearing those words should have relaxed her, but Jane was tense as a bow string. Why was he always so considerate?

Tears appeared again, unwarranted and completely unwanted, but they demanded to make their presence known. Sobs wracked her body, spurred by the words floating through her head. She could almost hear the voice of her mother telling her that something was wrong with her, that she wasn’t good enough to love. The voice of Rosemary telling her she wasn’t woman enough. Ursie’s voice was calmer, sweeter, telling her what it felt like to be in love. Peter and Emelia’s voices cropped up too telling her how she’d missed so much being alone. All their voices roared in her ears until they were drowned out by her own cry of _enough!_

For every one of her twenty-two years, Jane-Anne Cody had listened to everyone else’s ideas instead of her own. She’s become whatever other people wanted her to be; she’d played the perfect student, the perfect daughter, the perfect fiancé, but she’d never been any of those things. Only with A.J. had she ever felt like her true self, and she was not going to let anyone else ruin that anymore. Rolling over proved to be a hassle with her wet undergarments, but she finally managed to turn towards him. Shimmying up, Jane got face to face with A.J. and started kissing him with abandon.

“Sweetie?” He panted as her lips journeyed down his jaw with little feathery kisses. “Janie, don’t force yourself.” The feel of her pressed against him like she was trying to climb inside of him made certain parts of his body react. It was a normal reaction, but he felt awful because it was tearing her up. He tried to still her by holding her hips, but that didn’t stop her from rolling against him, making contact in all the right places. “Jane, stop.”

His grip tightened, firm but not bruising, and Jane cooled off enough to look at him.

“Do you not want to?” The lust in her eyes was tempered by hurt, and a bit of understanding. Maybe she’d gone too fast. Maybe he didn’t want her in this way yet. A.J. let go of her hips, letting them roam up her back. Her back arched against his hands, reflexively searching for more. Damn, she was sweet.

“I want to honey. I love you and I want to have this with you, but not if you’re forcing yourself to go through with it.” He’d rather wait until she was ready than have her regret it later, Jane was too important to him to risk it.

“Oh, A.J..” Miracles must be real because there was one laying in her arms. No other man on earth would have stopped her, would have been more concerned about her wellbeing than the sex. She drew her fingers through his hair, caressing his stubbled cheeks like she’d always imagined, like he was very dear to her. “You’re an absolute prince Alfred James Casey, but I’m sure.” With expert hands, Jane unhooked her bra, took of her panties, and threw them on the floor, baring everything to him. She would have been embarrassed, but she was too achy and needy to notice anything but the way A.J. awed over her like she was Venus. The dim light coming from the living room cast such lovely shadows over her, he could hardly believe that this angel was really with him.

Following suit, A.J. pulled off his underwear too, letting them get skin to skin and just like that, they took off. Jane brought his hands to her bare breasts, moaning sweetly when he gently squeezed, groaning raggedly when he rolled the tips between his fingers. He knew just how to play her body just like a well-tuned instrument, and Jane felt wisps of jealousy rising at the thought of him doing this with anyone else. She tried to let the thought go, but the more he touched her, made her body sing, the more she wondered who else he’d done this too. He was thirty-two years old; it wasn’t fair to be upset when it was improbable that he was a virgin.

“You’re really good at this.” She panted against the top of his head, his lips busy elsewhere. The laugh that rumbled out of him sent shocks through her system where his mouth worshiped her body.

“I’m glad you think so.” His head popped up so she could see his bashful face. “I have no idea what I’m doing.” From the way she froze under him, he knew he’d shocked her. A virgin out of high school was a rare thing these days, but a thirty-two year old? Unicorns were less rare than that. When he was younger he’d felt ashamed of it, but his dad had told him not to worry, that he’d find the right girl someday. He had found the right one, even if it took him longer than most. Jane giggled softly, completely taken aback.

“I thought at least one of us would know what they’re doing. I guess not.” Even so, they made up for their lack of experience with passion. A.J. wondered how she and Peter had never crossed this line, and Jane wanted to ask how he’d waited so long, but all the questions could wait. Without another word, Jane scoot under him as he move over her. Her legs opened shyly, making a cradle for him to rest in. If it were any other time with any other people, there would have been much more of a preamble, more seduction or lightheartedness, but they’d lost too much time, placed so much importance on this moment.

A.J. gave her one last questioning glance, gave her one last opportunity to back out, but she only lifted her legs to wrap around his trim waist, bringing him down to her.

“Janie-.” The choking gasp was cut off with a moan as he felt himself being drawn into her warmth. They both lost themselves in the sensation, the newness of becoming one. Neither noticed the moment her virginity tore, could have even said what it felt like as they were caught up in instinct. Every motion, every thrust and parry were driving them both to the brink much faster than either anticipated.

A.J. was trying to set a rhythm that she could follow, but her muscles were stretched like never before and she struggled to find a way to move with him. Their lovemaking was in no way perfect, but it felt too good, to right to think about that. Technique would come later, with practice, but for now they would make due with unbridled joy.

Jane was drowning in the feeling of A.J. inside of her. It felt foreign and strange, but wonderful just the same. There was a little ball of heat and aching where they were joined, and each time he moved, she could feel the heat growing. The quiet little room was filled with pants and moans, occasionally interrupted by the squeak of the bed. They kissed and touched and loved like it was the last thing they’d ever do, and they both wished it would last forever.

“A.J.!” Her cry was shrill as her body drew taut, her mind completely fracturing when the heat and the ache collided, exploding like a bomb. She clenched around him like a silken vice, sending him over the edge as well. With a final kiss, A.J. tensed as well, losing himself within her. When it was over, he rolled her with him so that she was laying on his chest, legs straddling him so they stayed connected.

Jane slowly came back from the void, her head rising and falling as A.J. tried to catch his breath. That had been…really wonderful. If she hadn’t begun to feel shy again, she would have asked him when they could do that again.

“Are you okay?” He stroked up her body, using the tips of his fingers to tease the smooth surface of her back. Jane nodded, arching under his touch. More than okay really, she was still coming down from cloud nine.

“Yes I am, love.” Now that they had each other, everything would be alright. Stretching up, Jane kissed him again, not trying to rekindle anything, just to let him know she was truly okay. A long sigh pulled its way from his body as he wiped away the latest tears from her cheeks.

“Then why are you still crying?” Would he ever be able to understand her? Despite the tears, he could see how genuine her sweet smile was, so he guessed he could live with them. She’d been so wild with abandon when he’d made love to her; who would have thought that she would have been the instigator?

“They’re happy tears,” Jane sighed dreamily. A.J. just smiled and knew that he’d have the rest of his life to figure her out. Hugging her tightly to his chest, he settled down in to the covers for some much needed post-coital cuddling, and Jane relaxed in his arms, letting the gentle sound of his breathing lull her to sleep. Just as she started drifting off, there was a loud banging on the front door.

“Alfred!” The voice was unmistakeable; Peter was here. A.J. sat up, sliding Jane off his lap and scrambled to find his pants on the floor.

“What’s he doing here Janie?” All the calm he’d felt after their lovemaking was completely gone as he pulled his pants on blindly, then covering Jane’s nakedness with the comforter.

“I don’t know. There’s no reason for him to be here.” How did he even know where to go? Jane watched as A.J. walked out to the living room and closed the door behind him. Thankfully he’d remembered to turn the light on for her instead of leaving her alone in the dark.

“Where is she?” Immediately Jane could hear the irritation in Peter’s voice. The sound of his shoes was loud against the entryway tiles. “Her car is out front, so don’t lie to me.” She’d never heard him talk like that to anyone before, so something major had to have happened. Looking around, Jane saw A.J.’s dress shirt and pulled it on, insanely grateful that it came down to a decent spot on her legs. She prayed that Peter hadn’t seen her dress on the floor out there before she had the chance to explain.

“Peter, it not what it looks like.” Actually, it was probably exactly what it looked like, so Jane tried to do up the buttons as fast as she could.

“Jane, are you okay?” Another voice called out to her, and this time it was Emelia, sounding extremely concerned. Could this situation be any worse? Once a decent amount of buttons were done, Jane opened the bedroom door, stepping out so that Pete and Emelia could see her in one piece.

“I’m right here.” The shock on their faces would have been funny if Peter’s look hadn’t switched to cold-blooded fury when he saw the forgotten tears streaking her face. In a split second, Peter was turning on A.J., fists ready to fly.

“You bastard!” Jane could swear she saw the red in Peter’s eyes when he let loose the first punch. A.J. successfully dodged that one, but got caught cleanly in the right side of his jaw with the follow up left hook. A scream ripped out of Jane when she saw him stumble against the wall, and she dove between the two without another thought. One arm went around A.J. protectively, and the other hand smacked firmly into Peter’s chest.

The whole room grew quiet as they all took in Jane’s stance; she looked like a fierce Amazon ready to tear Peter apart in order to defend A.J., and Jane knew she would if needs be. Emelia saw how the hand on Peter’s chest trembled, could see how uncomfortable it made her, but Jane wouldn’t back down; what was happening here? The silence ticked on for a long while before Peter finally stepped back with reluctance, confusion knitting his golden brows together.

“A.J., are you okay honey?” With Peter a good distance away, Jane turned to look at his face, gently examining his reddening jawbone. She shot a quick glare at Peter, but continued to fuss over A.J. like a mother hen until he shushed her and tucked her under his arm for an embrace.

“What in the hell is going on here?” Emelia demanded, sounding just as confused as they all felt. There no use denying what had happened between them; Em could see how swollen Jane’s lips were and the fact that she was wearing A.J.’s shirt. Even if they’d known each other from school, how in the hell did they intend on explaining jumping into bed together?

“That’s a long story Em,” Jane sighed in exhaustion. The whole day’s events were weighing her down, that much was evident in her eyes but she needed to soldier on just a bit longer: It was time to put all this to rest and finally move into the brighter future she’d always dreamed of. “To cut it short, I’ve been in love with A.J. for the better part of four years, and we just found each other again after a two year separation.” That was really the bare bones of it, but that’s all she cared to explain at the moment. They didn’t need to know about who left who and about A.J.’s past. All they needed to know was that they belonged to and with each other. “I’m sorry I broke my promise to you, but now that Rosemary knows and I’ve found A.J., there wasn’t any chance of us keeping to the plan.” The plan might as well have been dipped in gasoline and set of fire for how well it had gone… Em and Peter stared at the two new lovers and then at each other. Everything was clear as mud at this point, but it would take a special kind of fool not to realize how deeply Jane cared for the man who held her. She didn’t shake, didn’t flinch away from his touch, and when she looked at him, her eyes shined with love.

The touching scene flipped a switch in Emelia, and her eyes flooded with tears, surprising everyone in the room. Peter heaved a sigh, but hugged her, still reeling from everything that was happening. No one asked for an explanation from her; the day had been strange enough already so what was a couple more tears?

“I felt so bad that we couldn’t keep our end of the deal Jane,” Emelia hiccuped, pressing her face into Peter’s chest. The tears were completely at odds with the smile she wore, but Jane sympathized with her. Happy tears loved to show up at the oddest of times. “I’m so glad you found Al-. I mean A.J..”

“I am too.” Jane gingerly kissed A.J., sending him a look like she promised to explain all this to him, and his look said he’d hold her to that. “But what are you guys doing here?” Their sudden appearance has really been the cherry on top of their messed up day, but obviously there had been a reason for it.

“You were so upset after the family disaster that we were worried about you. We didn’t want you to be alone.” It was a touching sentiment, but all four of them blushed at the irony that Jane most certainly hadn’t been alone.

“I’m good now, I promise. But if you punch him again there will be hell to pay.” A.J. would be sporting a lovely bruise sooner rather than later from the force of that punch, but strangely enough, A.J. didn’t even seem upset about it.

“I thought he’d hurt you. It didn’t really help that you came out of his room crying and looking like hell yourself.” Jane was about to argue, but she conceded that he had a valid point. He’d done what was right in his eyes, defending her from what he saw as a threat.

“I would rather die than hurt her again.” In two years he’d broken her heart more times than he cared to admit, and he wanted to spend the rest of their lives making it up to her. He kissed her head and gave her an extra squeeze, wishing that they’d get to be alone again soon.

“So what happens now?” The question from Peter just hung in the air, daring someone to answer. Both sets of lovers just looked at each other, unsure of what the future really meant now that Jane and Peter were obviously _not_ getting married. The solution came upon Jane swiftly, with great clarity.

“Most of the stuff is already set for our wedding in April Peter,” she said excitedly like he would know just what she meant. Jane waited for it to sink in, but Pete was a little to weary to understand. “You and Em can use all the things we had to get married!” The man might have a heart of gold, but sometimes he had a head of stone, but she had to give him a little leeway after today. It was really the perfect idea, and waste not, want not right?

“It could totally work. We would need to order new invitations and change the names in the registry, but we could make this work.” Peter and Jane started chatting about what was already planned and what needed adjusting, like it was completely normal. The more they talked, the more distressed Emelia looked. A.J. seemed to be the only one noticing, so he stopped them.

“Emelia, what do you think about that?” After all, she would be the other person getting married, so she held a lot of weight in that decision. She was shaking with nerves, realizing that now was as good a time as ever.

“I think we should get married sooner.” Peter just looked at her like he couldn’t see the problem.

“It’s only five months away Em. We both want to get married, but I mean, we’ve already waited this long.” Jane burst out laughing, followed by A.J., because apparently Pete was the only one not understanding what she was saying. Emelia was trying to be discrete, but it wasn’t working.

“Looks like it wasn’t my pills Rosemary should have been counting.” The irony of it had Emelia chuckling wetly too. It was immediately obvious when Peter realized what they were getting at, because he picked Em up in a huge bear hug, careful not to squeeze her middle too firmly.

“Oh honey.” He kissed her soundly, forgetting the present company. “You are… right. We need to get married sooner than April.” When he put her down, he rubbed her still-flat belly, beaming with total happiness.

“How far away is Vegas?” Jane wondered aloud. If they wanted a wedding in a hurry, there was no better place, and no one argued that. Emelia and Peter both contemplated that option but neither could find a fault with it.

“About seven hours away. We could leave in the morning.” Peter answered, but had eyes only for Emelia. There was a total calm in the room now, laced with excitement. The future that they’d perfectly mapped out was going up in smoke, and no one cared one bit.

“Would you two come as witnesses?” Em pleaded. She felt like it would be the best thing in the world if Jane and A.J. would come with them to see the ending and fresh beginning of the chapters in their lives. Jane looked to A.J. for his opinion, relieved to see his easy smile.

“Of course we will Emelia.” That being said, A.J. and Peter started discussing the details of the trip, and Emelia and Jane just gushed over how the day had unfolded. It was a true beginning of something new, something dear and genuine between them all. When everything was set in place, Peter and Emelia said their goodbyes, Peter’s an apology to A.J. for the punch and Emelia’s a wish of wellness to the both of them.

Once they’d gone, Jane sank against A.J. with all her weariness, grateful to finally be alone again. There was so much still to explain, but she didn’t have the energy for it. She brought her eyes to his face, ashamed that she’d brought him pain. Her hands were light on his face, tracing the red mark that Peter had left behind.

“I’m really sorry A.J.. We should get you some ice for that.” Jane tried to pull away from him to make him an icepack, but he stopped her, scooping her up once more and carrying her back to the bedroom. “A.J.!” She giggled, letting herself be carried away.

“I’d rather take you back to bed.” He nipped her ear after he whispered in it, loving the soft moan she gave him in return. True to his word, he laid her back in the bed, moving away to shut off the light. His hand paused on the switch when Jane began to unbutton his shirt, deliberately slow to tease him. If she kept this up they’d never get any sleep before they had to leave in a few hours. Each button that fell open gave him a tantalizing view of what treasure laid beneath. _To hell with it_ , he thought. They were young and in love; sleep could wait. 

The instant his shirt was tossed back to the floor, A.J. flicked off the lights and dove back into the bed. It felt so right to have him pulling her against him, kissing her neck, whispering little sweet things in her ear. _I’ll never let you go again Janie. God, I love you so much_. They tangled together in the sheets, arm and legs intertwined in a lover’s embrace.

“I’m yours.” Her voice was sweet as honey, rolling over him. Her sincerity made his heart tighten with emotion, and he echoed her sentiment back to her. This was all he’d ever wanted; to love her like she deserved.

“I know this is probably crazy, but you know I love you Jane-Anne Cody,” a nervous wobble in his voice made her pull away from him to get a good look at his face. It was a mask of anxiety and love, and he was swallowing hard like his words were stuck in his throat. He looked right into her eyes, baring himself to her completely. “When we go with Peter and Emelia, we could make it a double wedding.” Everything else faded away, but A.J. and what he’d just said to her.

“You’re asking me to marry you?” She wrapped herself around him, keeping him as close as she could get. Maybe she was just as crazy as him, because she nodded without question. “Yes! Oh A.J., yes I’ll marry you.” This is what happiness was. This man in her arms was a miracle, her own personal miracle, and the same was true for him. It had taken them two years apart, and her engagement to Peter to get them to this point, but in the end, it had been worth it. A.J. kissed her soundly, marveling in the knowledge that he would spend the rest of his blessed life touching Jane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes this is the final chapter! I can't believe it's finally happened, but it's finally over. There will still be an epilogue, so stay tuned for that. :)


	9. Epilogue: Blue Skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This cozy little bit is the conclusion to their story.

“Do you have it, Janie?” Even though his arms were completely full, he was still worried about her carrying a cake. He was a sweetheart, but sometimes he was comically overprotective.

“Yes A.J., I think I can manage the cake.” Jane stood on her tip toes to give him a quick kiss. They rushed to the door, feeling guilty for being a little late, but it couldn’t be helped with their chaotic house. Jane rang the doorbell with her free hand and was immediately answered by Peter.

“Hey, come on in guys.” His cheerful smile was infectious, and he immediately had them both grinning as well. “Here, I’ll take that to the kitchen.” With the cake out of her hands, Jane pulled her coat off, and helped A.J. juggle things around so he could take his off as well.

“Auntie!” The childish scream of delight struck her heart, and she looked to see a little blonde head rushing towards her from behind the couch. “Up, up, up!” Jane laughed warmly at the happy little demands; who could refuse such a thing?

“Okay come here silly boy.” The wiggly little guy hugged her around her neck, and she made him wriggle even more as she kissed his sensitive neck.

“Aren’t you getting a bit big for that?” Peter barked with laughter when he came back in from the kitchen, followed by Emelia looking adorable and frazzled in her apron. They looked a vision of domestic bliss.

“Are you talking to me or your son?” Quincy picked that moment to push out of her arms, and she barely managed to get him safely to the floor before he was running off elsewhere in the house. Her back smarted when she tried to rise, freezing her halfway, and Peter came to help her straighten up; offering his arm, Jane took it gratefully and she stood up all the way.

“I don’t remember it being this difficult last time.” The cause of her pain decided to kick strongly in her stomach, and Jane started caressing her huge belly. Another hand joined hers, as A.J. felt where the kicking and rolling happened within his sweet wife. “If this keeps up, I’ll be a soccer mom someday.” Emelia came forward and gave Jane an easy hug, trying not to smoosh Jane’s belly between them.

“Don’t worry Jane, that’s normal for the second one.” At her reassurance, Jane walked off with her to the kitchen and left the men to take care of the kids. Those were the Thanksgiving rules this year; if the girls were going to be cooking, the men had to take care of their children.

In the three years since the impromptu double Vegas wedding, the two couples had grown to be fast friends. Jane had taken the long road trip to explain the whole story of her triangle with Emelia and Peter, and just how she’d ended up almost married to Peter. The three in the triangle reassured him completely that there were no feelings, romantic or hard, between any of them, but it wasn’t necessary. A.J. knew all he needed to just in knowing that Janie loved him. That didn’t stop him from having a good long laugh over it all, but that was the past, and they were going to make their own future.

“I swear that boy went straight from crawling to running.” Pete mused, watching his nearly three-year-old son race around the living room. It made his heart glad to see Jane and Em chatting in the kitchen, to hear his son’s gleeful giggles, and to sit and talk to his friend.

“I think I’ll just enjoy my time before we get to that stage,” A.J. teased, shifting his napping daughter to cradle her in his lap so that he could relax for a bit. Charlotte Elise would be two the day before Quincy’s third birthday, and she was the apple of her daddy’s eye. Seeing Quincy growing up made A.J. a bit sad; he knew it was just a matter of time before his little Lotte would grow out of napping in his arms and would be running like mad with Quin, so he liked to savor every minute with her.

“You won’t even have a chance to miss it by the time the twins come around Al.” Having one in pull-ups and one in pampers himself, Peter was speaking from experience. Seeing his boy grow up was the best thing in his life, aside from Emelia and their second son Xander. Speaking of Xander, Pete got down onto the floor with the four-month-old, and played with his tiny socked feet.

“Awe, isn’t that so sweet.” A.J. ribbed him, knowing damn well that he’d done the exact same thing when Lotte was that little. Who would have thought they would turn into such big softies? “Babies are making you soft Pete.” Peter just grinned and made funny faces at the baby. There was nothing better than his little family, and he knew that A.J. felt the same about his.

“If that’s so, I’m the happiest marshmallow there ever was.” Xan laughed with that contagious baby laugh as Peter blew air against his stomach. “So are you guys ready for the twins? It’ll be a big adjustment going from a family of three to five.” Never had truer words been spoken. When Jane found out that she was pregnant with twins, they’d been a little nervous, but they knew they’d just roll with the punches as they came.

“Nah, I’m thirty-five and not getting any younger, so Janie and I didn’t see any point in waiting to grow our family.” Charlotte had come as a surprise right after Jane had stopped taking the pill. They’d been told that it might take a while to get her pregnant after the pills were out of her system, but a month later they’d seen those two blue lines. A.J. wasn’t sure about kids, having grown up as an only child, but one look at his daughter during the ultrasounds had been enough to convince him that this was exactly what he wanted. “My dad says he wants as many grandkids as we can give him, and I think Janie’s of the same mind.” In three years he’d surprised his dad with so much, but his dad was loving every moment of it. The morning after the wedding he’d called his dad while Janie called Ursula, and it was a tossup of which was more surprised at their announcement. Not knowing what else to say, A.J. had just come out and said that he was married.

“To who?” James had asked him, not sure if he should take this seriously or if Alfred was pulling his leg. A.J. had no small amount of pride in his voice when he told him he’d married Jane-Anne Cody. “It’s about time!” Was all he got before his dad was distracted telling Tamera the big news.

“I hope Emelia doesn’t catch the same bug. She’s already talking about trying for a little girl, and lord help me I can’t seem to say no to the woman.” Both men shook their heads, silently admitting between them that they were completely helpless against the wishes of the two little women who carried their hearts. “Speaking of your dad, is he coming today? There’s no way the four of us adults and the two toddlers are going to be able to polish off the feast Em’s whipping up in there.” Emelia had been up at the crack of dawn with the boys and decided to get to work on her first Thanksgiving meal. Hearing mention of the cooking, Emelia shot a dirty look in his general direction.

“Don’t you say anything about my cooking,” she scolded from the kitchen, and Peter just snickered to himself.

“Why would I do a thing like that?” The women both rolled their eyes, and shared a knowing look.

“I’d like to see him try and cook all this.” Em muttered while she mashed the potatoes. “The turkey isn’t ready yet, Quin may or may not have lost a Lego in the green bean casserole, and I think I just over-salted the potatoes.” The poor thing was really getting nervous, but Jane couldn’t help but giggle a little. The annoyed look she got should have sobered her up, but that only made it worse.

“Oh, don’t be mad at me, I had to go through this last year.” It had been her first thanksgiving too, but Ursula had been there to help her, for which she’d been eternally grateful. Now it was her chance to help out. A spoonful of the potatoes told her that they were salvageable, so she pulled Emelia back from the stove for a pep talk. “The potatoes just need a bit more butter; unsalted butter, the turkey looks like it will be done before the parents get here, and we’ll just have to be on the lookout for that Lego.” That calmed her down a fair amount, and she pat Jane’s shoulder.

“Thank you. I needed that.” Back at the stove, she did what Jane suggested, and laughed at herself for making such a fuss about the potatoes. Everyone knew the real reason she was nervous, and there was no helping it; Rosemary was coming. In the last three years, they’d come to an uneasy peace for the sake of Peter and the boys, but there was a chip on Emelia’s shoulder now because she wanted to gain her approval. 

“Maybe we can make it a game? The person who finds the Lego doesn’t have to change any diapers for the rest of the day.” Quincy was potty trained for the most part, aside from the occasional nap time accident, but whenever the grandparents were around, Xander and Charlotte’s diaper duty was divided between them.

“I’m sure Papa James, Grandpa Craig, and the Chief will be fighting for that Lego,” Jane chuckled, but she knew full well the men didn’t care about that; they loved their grandchildren to pieces.

“Oh Jane, I’m so nervous, but so excited for this.” Her first Thanksgiving cooked in her and Peter’s new house. The thought of all her family gathered at her home, laughing and sharing a home cooked meal brought a sheen of tears to Emelia’s eyes. Jane noticed them and cocked her brow.

“If anyone should be crying today, it’s the pregnant lady. You need to tell me something Em?” She said in jest. If Em was somehow pregnant again, they’d have six babies under five between them; some people might think it was insane, but they loved their growing families.

“I’m not pregnant. That I know of,” Emelia smirked while drying her eyes. “I’m just so happy right now.” There has been so much misery in their lives what felt like a short while ago, it seemed impossible that they’d get a happy ending. Now there were marriages and babies and homes, and it was so much better than they’d ever dreamed of.

“I think I hear the parents coming.” From the bay window that over looked the driveway, the girls could hear numerous car doors closing. “Are Willow and Victoria coming too?” They were quickly going to find out just how many people they could fit in Emelia’s house.

“I known Willow is, but Vicky…who knows where that child goes.” As they finished up dinner, four sets of parents walked in, eager to see their sweet grand babies. James immediately went to his son and Charlotte, shaking A.J.’s hand so he didn’t disturb his granddaughter’s nap. Richard went to the kitchen to see his little girl. Chief Harcourt and Craig went straight for their beloved grandsons. Only Veronica and Rosemary held back. Three years hadn’t been enough time to erase the shame they felt over how they’d treated their children.

Veronica still felt she’d been right in insisting that Jane marry Peter, seeing how well Peter was doing for himself. She would never be able to truly grasp how much damage she’d inflicted in that whole ordeal. On the other hand, Rosemary was keenly aware of the harm she’d done, and it still soured her on occasion. She’d never been one to shoulder the blame well, but each time she saw Peter beaming with happiness over his sons and wife, it drove the barbs home a little more that she’d tried to stop this.

One day she would make peace with Emelia wholly. If she were honest, Emelia was far surpassing her expectations already, and she’d grown reluctantly fond of the girl. While she admired her, she wasn’t quite ready to lay it all out on the table and admit she’d been horribly wrong. Until that day, she’d bask in the love of her grandchildren, and see how many more times Perter and Emelia could surprise her.

Just moments after the parents arrived, Willow showed up, dragging Victoria behind her like a festive warden. Victoria hovered near the door, away from the hustle and bustle, but Willow immediately ran to Emelia and Jane. When the turkey was done, Emelia relinquished command to Peter, who brought the heavy bird out to the table where everyone sat ready for dinner.

“Who wants to carve this turkey?” It was normally one of the father’s jobs to do the carving, so he stood ready to pass the fork and craving knife to one of them. All four dads just looked at each other before James finally stood up.

“I think we are all in agreement,” he said, getting nods of approval from the other three. “Peter, this is your first Thanksgiving you’ve hosted, so you can do the honors.” He sat back down, nodding to A.J. and Jane, who also agreed wholeheartedly.

“Before you do that, I’d like to say a few words.” Craig got up from his chair and stood behind his wife, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Over the last few years, I’ve had the privilege of seeing these young people grow and change. They’ve gone from sons and daughters to husbands and wives. From there to fathers and mothers. They’ve made their own families and have found true happiness.” Emelia lovingly stroked Peter’s arm, and Jane hugged A.J. from the side. “So here’s to Peter and Emelia, Jane-Anne and Alfred. I hope that your families continue to be blessed, and I want you to know that we’re all proud of you.” Pleased with himself, Craig took his seat again, and watched through misty eyes as his son craved his first turkey.

The night commenced with food, merriment, and the passing of babies from open arms to open arms. Somewhere in the middle of it all, Jane, Emelia, Peter, and A.J. manages to find themselves alone in the kitchen. From the living room they could hear the sounds of the kids giggling, their parents chatting, and just the comforting sounds of home. Jane was leaning her back on A.J.’s chest while he felt her belly, and Emelia was hugging Peter to decompress a little.

The silence felt light, filled with hard won love and happiness. The four of them shared knowing smiles; this was their life now. It was full of loud family gatherings, quiet nights at home, tender moments made into memories, and love to last a lifetime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading until the end. I know that it's not a full novel, and that it's not New York Times Best Seller list worthy, but it's my first story written to completion, and I'm very proud of it. I'd love to hear your opinions on it now that it's finished, and how you feel about there possibly being a sequel. I hope I was able to create something you guys can enjoy. 
> 
> Love, 
> 
> HighlandRose

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you liked it, please leave a comment or kudos :) Even authors need encouragement.


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